.:.:[ Segment Title ]:.:. The Rock between me and the World Title? That's not healthy for him!

.:.:[ People Used ]:.:. Billy Gunn, Michael Cole, Triple H, Shawn Michaels
.:.:[ Wrestlers Mentioned ]:.:. The Rock, Diamond Dallas Page
.:.:[ Previous Match ]:.:. None
.:.:[ Next Match ]:.:. Billy Gunn vs. The Rock

.:.:[ Foreword Scene ]:.:. The scene opens with highlights from Pro Wrestling Online's Monday Night Raw, a show packed with action from the opening fireworks, that preceded Degeneration-X's address to the crowd, and their confrontation with the Texas Rattlesnake and The Lone Wolf Scott Hall, to the closing moments, where Chris Jericho won the United States Championship in impressive fashion, followed by an attack by Badd Ass Billy Gunn, where he delivered the devastating finishing maneuver, The Fame-Ass-Er, only to be placed in the Scorpion Deathlock by The former United States Champion, Sting. Smackdown! highlights are sprinkled within the highlights, showing The Heartbreak Kid's match with Lance Storm for his Television Title, and much more. One particular event on Smackdown! that stands out is the break up of Degeneration-X, by Triple H in Billy Gunn's absence. While these highlights play, and much more, in the background plays Mr. Ass' theme music, along with Billy Gunn's commentary on the latest happenings in Pro Wrestling Online...

.:.:[ Foreword ]:.:. You want a foreword, wrestling fans? Who better to give it to you than the man who has it all, and then some, with a side of ass? That's right, rather than bore with you a PWO assigned narrator to break down what's going on in PWO, and what they gotta do with me, I decided to handle it myself. Who better to break it down than yours truly, Mr. Ass? I can't think of anyone. So, without further ado people, we had one hell of a night on Monday Night Raw, starring Mr. Ass and the Degeneration-X crew. There wasn't really a match between Scott Hall, Austin, and us, but hey, I got a piece of those two, so I'm satisfied. Then there's Chris Jericho and The Stinger. Yeah, I made a little noise at the end, but that sorry excuse for a champion, Sting, messed up the game plan. But it ain't no thing! There's not a man I can't beat in PWO, so to Sting, Jericho, or any other man who wants to step to best of the best, I say, I AM the best of the best, so bring it on! Onto a little something else... I take leave from PWO for one SHOW, and I come back, and DX is no more. [ Gunn laughs. ] It's the best thing that could have happened to me. Now, when I make a run for the World Title, I don't have to feel bad if I happen to kick Hunter's ASS in the process! I'm back, ladies and gentlemen, and if you were impressed before, YOU AIN'T SEEN NOTHING YET! But let's put that aside, and look onto the upcoming Monday Night Raw where I take on The Rock. Ladies and gentlemen, you just watch... WATCH how Billy Gunn dominates this guy, kicks his ass, and humbles this arrogant jackass, exposing him as the chump he really is. Yeah, you can bet on that. Billy Gunn WILL beat The Rock... And then go on to win the World Title. And now, I leave you to this wonderful segment starring Mr. Ass... 

The Ass Man has spoken...

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. The scene opens in San Antonio, Texas. The camera gets shots of the Alamodome, and Alamo itself, and other San Antonio "stand-outs". The camera finally takes us backstage at the Freeman Coliseum in San Antonio, Texas, the sight of the second PWO Smackdown Event. Night has fallen on the city, as the camera, backstage, gets a shot from the side, of a door. The door squeaks open, and a hand guides two large bags into the hall, then drops them carelessly. From down the hall, Michael Cole makes his way to the door, with microphone in hand, wearing a suit, oddly enough. Once he reaches the door, out steps Billy Gunn, who seems a little annoyed by Michael's presence. Billy seen here, wearing a 'Mr. Ass' t-shirt, with black sweat pants, puts his hands on his hips, shakes his head, then takes his bags, and walks to a little further up the hall.

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Billy, if you would, I'd like to have a few words with you...

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Did you just call me, Billy?

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Ye- Yes, I did...

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. How many times must we go over this, Cole? I am to be addressed as 'The Best Wrestler to ever grace a PWO Ring'. [ Billy aggressively drives his finger into the head of Michael Cole. ] Why can't I get that through your scrawny little cue ball head?

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. [ Michael Cole rolls his eyes. ] Terrible sorry, 'Best Wrestler to ever grace a PWO Ring', it won't happen again.

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. [ Billy laughs. ] I'm just screwin' with you Cole. I just wanted to see if you'd do it. Well, I don't have all night, the guys are probably done dressing and headin' for the car. There my ride, so, let's speed through this...

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Yes sir... Mr. Ass.

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Mr. Ass? Yeah, you call me Mr. Ass for now on. I mean, it's respectful, and you should ALWAYS respect somebody who's on a higher level than you, and it captures the essence of your acknowledging that my ass, is sooo damn nice, it's my namesake. Good job, Mike!

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Mr. Ass, Degeneration-X was the rave of PWO, but Triple H-

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. You're right Cole, it WAS! And actually, it was never the rave of PWO. Denegeration X was the worst thing to ever happen to me in the debut of my career in PWO. I have to rebound from that dud of a project. Degeneration-X was going no where fast. It was designed from the very beginning to help Triple H climb the ladder of success, while Jesse and I dominated the tag team ranks, and X-Pac tagged along. THAT'S IT! Well hey, Cole, I'm FINALLY done with all that crap. It's time to take my place in the spotlight as the best damn wrestler in the world. How do I do that? I gotta win that World Title. 

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Well, Mr. Ass, what are your plans for PWO. I believe the first time this question was asked, you didn't give your all in the question.

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Give my all? Nevermind. I'll let that slide, Cole. But I can't let that question slide, 'cause I just answered it, Cole. I want the World Title! But hey, I'm humor you, and answer it, and this time, I'm TRY and give my all... What do I have planned for PWO? Well, in all honesty, PWO isn't ready for what I have in store for it. I'm the best wrestler in the business, hands down, no questions asked. To those of you how just haven't caught on yet, I'm the best damn wrestler in Sports Entertainment today. Now, I'm saying it, now I have to prove it. Look, that's the way this business is. You speak on something, then you go out and do it. Now I'm telling you that I will entertain you. I'm telling you that I will win this match, and progress further in the tournament, and ultimately win the World Championship. I'm telling you I am the future of this federation. This is not bull and these are not false promises. If you think so, you're in for a rude awakening. When you walk into that ring, you walk into my world. A world where one man reigns supreme. And that man goes by the name of Mr. Ass. Stand in my way at a shot at the title my first night on the job? Then you will get your sorry ass knocked down, and that goes for anyone. I'm given a shot to walk away with a shot at the World Title after winning two matches, Cole. Just TWO matches. This isn't a Royal Rumble for a shot at the title, where I'll take on practically the entire federation. Oh, and I think I should make it known that I'm no stranger to winning thirty-man rumbles. I get up for this, people. Nervous? Hell no! Just ready. I'll win the title. The only title that matters. The World Title. No one has what it takes to contend with the Ass Man. Well, not here anyway. That's why I'm here people. Ass needs to be kicked, and this place needs a respectable champion. The kids need a hero, the women need a man to dream about, and the men need someone to be jealous of. I'm that man, the best thing to ever happen to PWO... The arrival of an Ass Man...

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. You mentioned The Rock. One thing I must ask you before we get into your match with him, itself, tell me, what do you think of Diamond Dallas Page's and The Rock's growing feud, and how could it effect you in your match, Monday Night?

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Alright, I'll start with Diamond Dallas Page and what I think of him... I couldn't give a damn about the guy, honestly. And why should I? He hasn't crossed me, and if he knows what's good for him... [ Gunn laughs. ] He'll stay the hell out of my way! Monday Night, he's gonna sit at the announce table and watch as I do exactly what he only wishes he can do to The Rock. I WILL dominate the People's Champion. I WILL kick the People's Champion's ASS! I WILL defeat The People's Champion. Michael, my advice to Page is to sit back and take notes from the master, Mr. Ass, and deal with The Rock AFTER I'm done with him. As long as he does that, he has no effect on me. Just on The Rock. The Rock will be looking over his shoulder, bracing himself for an attack, which makes it all the more easier for me to take him apart! Either way, if he's distracted or not, I'd kick his ass, but the faster and simpler I can do it, the way I wanna do it, understand, Cole?

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Well, onto The Rock-

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Far behind Michael Cole, down the hall, the camera captures The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels and Triple H, walking together, in the middle of a conversation. The two are laughing and talking loud, being quit obnoxious, as usual. What's wrong with being obnoxious? In the middle of a sentence, Triple H stops, and looks ahead at Billy and Michael Cole in a conversation. Shawn takes notice as well, and a huge smile comes over both their faces. They speed up a little, as Billy Gunn takes notice of them, and he too smiles. Both Triple H and Shawn wrap their arms around the shoulders of Michael Cole. Michael rolls his eyes, as Billy Gunn, Triple H and Shawn, with huge smiles on their faces, proceed to give Michael a hard time.

.:.:[ Triple H ]:.:. How's it goin', you little nimrod? Miss us?

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Of course he misses us, Hunter. After all we've been through together. There's NO WAY he could forget ole' HBK and Triple H.

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. You must be talking about all the pranks... [ Michael says with such a lack of self-confidence. ]

.:.:[ Triple H ]:.:. Well somebody's definitely getting a little smarter.

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. What's your business here? I'm having an interview with The Badd Ass Billy Gunn, I'll ask you nicely to leave, please.

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Michael Cole, you outta know better than to take that tone with owners of this place. C'mon, THINK! That's your first mistake. Second, you called me The Badd Ass Billy Gunn. What happened to Mr. Ass? Boys, we have a situation here.

.:.:[ Triple H ]:.:. Oh really? Well, how are we going to deal with this situation... Shawn, you have any ideas.

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. You know Hunter, I THINK I DO! Guys, I feel like hitting the battin' cages. Who's with me?

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Billy Gunn and Triple H look to Shawn Michaels a little confused. He winks, and their look of confusion is turned into smiles.

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Oh yeah, the batting cages... I'm game.

.:.:[ Triple H ]:.:. Yeah, and THE Game is is up for it too... And so is Mike!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Triple H aggressively pulls Michael Cole's shirt out of his pants, then yanks Cole's underwear up his ass, holding him about a foot or more off the ground. Michael Cole grunts, and begins to whimper, as the trio simply laugh at him, as they make their way down the hall. The scene now reopens in Big Daddy's Ball and Caddy. This is a miniature golf and batter's cage theme park. Well, Big Daddy calls it a theme park. The park is closed, as night has fallen. You can here the screams of a woman from within the park. The camera takes a closer look and investigates. We find that this is not a woman after all. It's actually Michael Cole in his underwear, stapled and tied to a fence behind Billy Gunn in a batter's cage. His crotch is a direct target for the machine that shoots the baseballs. On the outside of the cage, behind Gunn and Cole, stand Triple H and Shawn Michaels, laughing their asses off at Cole's predicament. Billy has changed clothes. Now wearing a 'Mr. Ass' baseball jersey, with the number '69' on the back, and black and hot pink colors, with a hitter's helmet. He's all smiles. Michael Cole is not sharing his joy, as he knows the consequences if Billy were to miss the ball.

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Can we get on with this? Please.

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. You are in no position to talk to us like that, Cole.

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. I said please.

.:.:[ Triple H ]:.:. And now you're talking back? I feel a strike coming on, Gunn. [ Triple H slams his hands into the cage, and Cole jumps in fear. ]

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Alright, alright. I wanna get this over with. Speak up, Michael...

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Triple H and Shawn whisper something to each other, then say...

.:.:[ Triple H ]:.:. Yo, Billy. We're gonna go bust open a vending machine, or something. I hungry as hell.

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. No problem, ya'll. I catch up to you after I'm done with this interview.

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Oh, and Cole, don't worry about taking a shot to the balls. Billy is one of the best baseball players, I know! [ All three of them laugh, as Hunter and Shawn walk away. ]

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. What he said is true, right?

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. [ Gunn laughs a little. ] What do you think?

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. I think-

 .:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. On with the interview, Cole!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Out pops a ball from the pitching machine, hurling rapidly toward Gunn. He takes a swing, and CRACK, it's outta there! Michael Cole is breathing extremely hard in fright.

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. On with the interview!

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. [ With tears in his eyes he says... ] Well, Gunn, I'd like to know what kind of game plan, if any, you have going into your match up to advance in the eight-man World Title Tournament...

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Game plan? What the hell do I need a gameplan for? When you have as much talent as  guys like The Rock and Chris Jericho, bad days are as frequent as the sun sets against guys like me. However, for guys like me... Well, since I'm about the closest you'll get to perfection in a human being, I'd say, I won't have a problem coming out on top in this match. The chances of this match even coming to the Fame-Ass-Er are unlikely. Did I tell ya' about the Fame-Ass-Er? I don't think I did. Ah, The Fame-Ass-Er. This is by far the most dangerous maneuver performed in the PWO. When it's given, you don't get up afterwards. When it's given, you don't know what the hell hit you until the next morning when you show up at the gym, and the common wrestlers are describing just how out you were in the middle of that ring, before, during, and after I pinned you for the one, two, three. I've been through this on countless occasions, but I'm aware that I'm dealing with a new audience. The PWO audience. Not only am I talking to the fans, I'm talking to those who question or oppose me. I'm talking to those who are scared to death of me. These are the people that you'll NEVER hear speak a word about me, in fear that I'll come after their sorry asses, and put a halt to their gradual climbing of the ladder in PWO. That's everyone's goal. Everyone wants to be like Mr. Ass. The Ass Man, ladies and gentlemen. You want to know what you're going to see from me, Michael Cole? After you take a few shots to the balls in just a second, I want you to do me a favor. I want you to go home and pull out some WWF and WCW footage on the Badd Ass Billy Gunn. I want you to study it. You'll quickly realize why they call me 'The Most Athletic Man in the Business'. Game plan? Yeah, I have one, and that's to kick ASS!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Out pops another ball from the pitching machine, hurling rapidly toward Gunn. With a smile this time, he takes a swing, and CRACK, it's outta there, once again! Michael Cole is breathing extremely hard in fright. Gunn turns to him, and scrowls, daring him to cry or complain. Michael Cole straightens up, best he can hanging on a fence and continues...

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Finally you mention The Rock. He happens to be the man you're going to take on in the first round of the eight-man tournament for the World Title. What are your views on The People's Champion? And do you think you can beat him?

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Beat him? I'll kill 'em! And what else would you expect from me, man? What you must understand is I am The Ass Man. Do you know what that means? Don't worry, 'cause I'm gonna tell ya'. That means I don't lose. I win. I'm a born winner. I'm the best damn wrestler in the history of sports entertainment. Do you think like The Rock can beat me? You're a crazy man if ya' think that. Or maybe, maybe you're just an idiot. I dunno, you make the call. But the point I'm trying to make is a guy like The Rock cannot hang with the man who's bigger than him, but at the same time, far more agile. Yeah, that's right, you're looking at that man. The Rock is a chump. Do you want a chump as a World Champion? On Smackdown!, I'm going to exposed Rocky as the chump he is. No one wants to cheer on a loser, but guess what, after I'm done with him, that's EXACTLY what he'll be! This man stands in my way to win the World Title. I want that World Title, Michael Cole, and I'll do whatever it takes to get it. The Rock has been around, and he's respected by many... But not me. He can't hold a CANDLE to my greatness, so why the hell should I respect him? We're talking about a guy who has more catch phrases than he has moves. Now that I have stumbled on the subject of his catch phrases, have you ever seen a man say the same thing over and over again so many times? Sometimes I feel like I’m watching a walking, talkin’, broken record. I can't stand this guy, and I think I'll be doing PWO a favor, and all it's fans by seeing to it that Rocky, never, NEVER even touches that World Title! Michael Cole... That's what I think of your People's Champion.

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Michael Cole braces himself for another ball to shoot out. Gunn laughs, and twirls the back again, then motions for him to continue.

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Any final-

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. A ball comes hurling toward Cole. Gunn simply bunts it out of the way, and laughs. Then motions for Cole to continue.

.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Any final words, Mr. Ass?

.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Looks like you're a little tired of being up there, Cole. Yeah, I guess we can bring it to a close... PWO, I’m the one you all came to see, and I’m the one who makes you come back! I’m the one with the swagger, I’m the one with the talent. I'm the one who your kids look up to. Oh, and I'm the one who'll be kicking your ass 'til the day PWO is NO MORE! I’m the one your wife thinks about. I’m the one who lives the life you want. I'm the one who is everything you want to be... And more! You wanna know why I know this? 'Cause I'm The One. The One and Only Badd Ass Billy Gunn. The One and Only man in PWO who'll tell you he's gonna do something... This get his ass up and DO IT! My word is better than anyone's. I'm not gonna say something I don't mean, and you know this! So, when The Ass Man says he's going to kick The Rock's ASS! Then you know damn well, that's EXACTLY what he means, and what he's gonna do! So to any man who wants to sit back and disrepect me, doubt me, or just doesn't like me... Well, I have something you can do, and it can be summed up in three... simple... words...

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Another ball comes whirling out of the mechanic picture. Gunn sets up to hit it when Triple H and Shawn Michaels coming running past the cage, with loads of sodas, candy, and other various junk foods in hand that you'd find in a vending machine. Gunn is distracted by it. Triple H and Shawn scream, "Gunn, get your ass goin'! The cops are on our asses!". At that point, the ball comes whirling past Gunn, and strikes Cole in he crotch. He begins to howl loudly, as Gunn busts out of the chain link door to the cage, to catch up with Triple H and Shawn. The scene closes with Michael Cole whimpering in pain, and the cops that were running after the trio, stopping to help Cole down and out of such a terrible predicament.