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- Disclaimer - Following is a roleplay written by the guy they call Kyle, and the same goes for the layout. If you should choose to read the following roleplay, beware that you may find extreme language, adult situations, crude humor, or anything you would find in your regular 'R' Rated Film. If you feel you can handle such themes, then please, by my guest and enjoy the roleplay, which is not associated with any wrestling organization. This roleplay is only made for fun and entertainment purposes. |
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Totally Bringing The Era of Awesomeness to the New Era Wrestling! |
7 - Time WWF Tag Team Champions |
0-0-0 |
Lance Storm, Raven |
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- Next Match - |
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Lance Storm & Raven vs. Edge & Christian |
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Totally Bring The Era of Awesomeness to New Era Wrestling! .:.:[ The scene opens in the Los Angeles International airport, in, you guessed it, Los Angeles, California. Shots of the beautiful California scenery are taken, before the camera focuses itself on Edge and Christian, who are in casual wear as they make their way down the hall just after stepping off the plane. ]:.:. .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. ... I can't believe we flew Southwest. Southwest! Christian, we are so better than that. I mean, you can't even get a decent bite to eat on that flight. I can't believe the NEW booked us a flight on the cheapest airline in the world! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Too true, Edge. We are too totally better than that. But if we didn't fly Southwest, we would have never got these nifty Snack Packs! .:.:[ Christian holds up the snack pack in his hand, as Edge does the same. ]:.:. .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Christian, Snack Packs totally RULE! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Yeah they do! .:.:[ And there it was, the very first incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five! Edge and Christian continue to walk down the hall until they reach the end. At this point, Edge and Christian's attention is taken by the airport worker who's giving information and instructions about the next flight. Edge and Christian laugh a little, as the guy continues to speak to a mob of people, about to board the flight. Christian taps the guy on his shoulder, then rips the device that he's talking into our of his hands. He then turns to the mob of people, and says... ]:.:. .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Greetings, lousy citizens of Los-ER Angeles! Allow me to inform you that the Era of Awesomeness, has totally just begun! .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Christian, that intro totally ROCKED! .:.:[ Edge and Christian execute an incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five! Edge continues... ]:.:. .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Anyway, for those who may not know who we are, which is to say, for those who totally live the life of a hermit- .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Because there's no question, you DON'T have a life if you don't know who we are! .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. We are the most fightingest tag team champions in the history of wrestling, and more importantly, we're seven time WWF Tag Team Champions! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Edge, no way, SEVEN?! .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Dude, I kid you not, SEVEN! [ Edge and Christian smile and nod approvingly. ] And we're also officially, and of course, TOTALLY, ushering in the Era of Awesomeness across the nation, starting with this God-forsaken, Donesville, Los-ER Angeles, Californication! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Kick ass job, there, Edge! Now, do we have any questions for the very two men you totally SHOULD strive to be in your everyday lives? .:.:[ The mob of people begin to talk amongst themselves, wondering exactly what's going on here. ]:.:. .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. I said does anyone of you reekazoids have any QUESTIONS! Talking amongst yourselves when we have the floor totally reeks of rude-osity! .:.:[ A nerd amongst the crowd looks up at Edge and Christian and says... ]:.:. .:.:[ Nerd ]:.:. Uh... Is this supposed to be happening? .:.:[ Edge and Christian shake their heads, frowning at the guy, as Edge says... ]:.:. .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. I so totally feel sorry for you, dude. I mean, you look like a total dorkimus molorkimus, but you're a total moron! That HAS to be the absolute WORST combination possible. A dumb nerd, what's up with that?! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. I know this may be difficult for all of you, sense it's no secret that the people of Californication are totally lacking BRAINS, but if there's at least ONE sharp knife in this drawer, speak up! .:.:[ A fat guy in the crowd who somewhat resembles the comic book store guy from The Simpsons, speaks up... ]:.:. .:.:[ A Fat Ass ]:.:. It seems to me, that if you two were so special, you wouldn't be flying Southwest. You be sitting in first class on one of the more expensive and finer airlines this nation has to offer. .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Well thank you for your opinion, Fat Ass Malloy, and allow me to explain to you exactly why we're flying Southwest. You see, the people who booked us in a match against that chumpstain Lance Storm and a homeless struggling wrestler, Raven, are the very same people who booked us on this flight. It's obvious the NEW just doesn't know how awesome a tag team it has. I guess we'll have to totally make examples out of our opponents on ShowTime! Again, thank you Fat Ass Malloy, for your opinion. .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. And now, if you'll excuse us, I believe it's time we blow this pop sickle stand! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Edge, what movie is that from? .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. I don't know, but I've always wanted to say that! .:.:[ Edge and Christian now attempt to leave this area and begin to make their way out of the airport. However, before they can, their stormed by three policemen, and quickly flung against the wall. The policemen quickly begin to perform a search on Edge and Christian, as they speak. ]:.:. .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Hey, what's the big idea?! I bet you wouldn't do this if weren't BLACK! Wait a second... .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Uh, Christian, I don't think we can pull the race card in this situation, or in any situation, for that matter when we're referring to ourselves as African American, because, well... We're totally NOT black! .:.:[ The cop searching Christian finishes his work quickly, then says... ]:.:. .:.:[ Security Guard #1 ]:.:. Well, sir, you're clean- .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Too bad you can't say the same for yourself, Officer Stanksworth! .:.:[ Security Guard #1 ]:.:. Look, you caused quite a disturbance over there. Nothing can be taken for granted. You know America's current situation. .:.:[ The cop goes on and on about national safety, as Christian pretty much tunes him out. Meanwhile, the cop searching Edge continues. Edge, obviously very uncomfortable, says... ]:.:. .:.:[
Edge ]:.:. Uh,
dude... What's your name? .:.:[
Security Guard #2 ]:.:.
Pat... Why? .:.:[
Edge ]:.:. Oh,
no reason, it's just... fitting. .:.:[
Security Guard #2 ]:.:.
Why'd you say
that? .:.:[
Edge ]:.:. Well,
officer, that's the thir- FOURTH time you PATted my crotch! You're last
name wouldn't happen to be McCrotch would it? As in, Pat McCrotch? Because
that would be TOO perfect! .:.:[
Officer 'Pat McCrotch' ]:.:.
Very funny... .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Glad YOU thought it was funny Officer McCrotch. Uh, before I go, allow me to give you a little advice. You know, things have changed a great deal in today's society. You don't have to attempt to hide your homosexual tendencies, and practice them while patting down hundreds of men a day. Go ahead and embrace those tendencies, drop this job, and join the Army! .:.:[ Edge and Christian shake their heads and walk away from the cops. As they do, they share a word about their upcoming match on ShowTime. ]:.:. .:.:[
Christian ]:.:. The bird and the storm? What reekazoid thought it be a
good idea to put us against those two chump stains? It's a totally waste
of our time, Edge. We could so be doing better things than wrestling those
two.
.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. I'm in total
agreement with you, Christian. Edge & Christian, 7-time WWF Tag Team
Champions, and let's not forget, the most fightingest tag team of ALL
time, are taking on two losers who were just put together on the spot?
Well, I guess I can understand why'd they put these two together. These
two totally reek of sucktitude alone, so, those great people calling the
shots in NEW thought it best to stick these two together, I hopes of
making the bird and the storm actually worth more than a grain of salt in
the wrestling business.
.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Like putting them together is going to make a
any difference. These two totally SUCK alone, and they'll totally SUCK
together. And since we're on the topic of reeking, is it just me, or does
Raven totally look like he reeks of infinite magnitutions of heinocity?!
.:.:[ Edge ]:.:.
Too true, Christian. Raven is a regular Dirty
Dingus McGee. I mean, does he even have a home? Where does he get those
clothes? And, geez, when it comes to food, where does he get it?
McDumpsters?
.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. I think
I'll ask him right after we beat him and 'Mr. Anti-Social' and take our
first step up the ladder of success in the NEW! .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Oh, oh, wait a second, Christian. I don't know if we can call Storm 'Mr. Anti-Social'. It looks like Storm is actually showing signs of having a personality... .:.:[ There's a short pause, until the duo bursts out in laughter. Then Edge quickly points to his face, and upon doing so, changes his expression from a smile, to a serious frown, mimicking Storm. ]:.:. .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Now if I may be serious for a moment... Christian, just because you invest in a stank ass HOE, like Dawn "The Dizts Queen" Marie, to be your valet, doesn't automatically give you a personality. The fact remains that Storm totally has the personality of a dried prune! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Sh-Yeah, Edge, I'm totally in agreement with you. This guy Storm, with The Dizts Queen, meets up with the frost haired reekazoid, Michael Cole-Slaw, and talks, and talks, and TALKS! This guy couldn't be entertaining if Ben Stiller was his manager! And Edge, we both know Ben Stiller is a total entertainment GENIUS! .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. No question, Christian, how can you be UN-entertaining with Ben Stiller by your side? Totally lacking ANY form of entertainment like Storm, is how! And Edge, for him to have the audacity to say we're NOT Canadian Superstars! Dude, what's up with that? We are TOO Canadian Superstars! And not just Canadian Superstars, but Canadian Superstars that TOTALLY reek of Awesomeness! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Edge, what Storm said was B-R-utal and I totally resent it in EVERY way. Geez, I'm totally in a state of steam-osity! .:.:[ Christian looks somewhat enraged, as Edge begins to fan him, saying... ]:.:. .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Christian, put a lock on that state of steam-osity and save it for Sunday. It's only a matter of time that we shut that long winded, lame excuse for a Canadian, up, and his little dog, Dawn, too! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Edge, nice play on that famous quote from one of the greatest flicks of all time, The Wizard of Oz! .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Christian, The Wizard of Oz totally rocks the party that rocks the body! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Yeah it does! .:.:[ Another incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five! At this point, the duo has reached the area where they retrieve this luggage. Fortunately, they spot their luggage as soon as they get there. They promptly grab it, and head for the exit, saying... ]:.:. .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Storm sure did have a whole lot to say. .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Yeah, and what irony! Storm says a hell of a lot, but he's totally NOT saying anything! [ Christian laughs shortly. ] The guy even went as far as analyzing our every move. [ Christian crouches over a little, looks around, and acts as if he's being watched. ] I mean, it's almost like this guy is like totally spying on us or something. .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Too true, Christian. I'm totally worried about this. Storm, a guy who talks in a monotone voice, which, before I even go on, totally freaks me out! He has no personality, and, well, I'll get him his props, he totally wrestles like a machine. Dude, it's almost as if... Storm is totally a ROBOT sent from some unknown galaxy to ultimately and totally annihilate the human race! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Edge, NO WAY! .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. WAY, Christian! .:.:[ Edge and Christian look at one another, definitely looking worried about this belief of Storm being a robot from an unknown galaxy to- Well, Edge put it best. This is short lived however, when Edge and Christian shrug their shoulders, saying... ]:.:. .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Ah, whatever, Edge. Robot or not, we're TOTALLY going to annihilate Raven and Storm on Sunday. Edge, this subject is PLAYED. I say we check out one of the many after hours hang out spots in Los Angeles, and totally hunker down there for the rest of the night. .:.:[ At this point, Edge and Christian step out of the airport, and stand at the side of the street. Edge responds to Christian's plan... ]:.:. .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Sounds like a kick ass plan to me, Christian! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Yeah, I wouldn't brought it up if it wasn't a kick ass plan. [ Christian shakes his head, disappointed with Edge. ] .:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Well, let's catch a taxi, make like a banana, and totally split! .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Way ahead of you, Edge... TAXI! .:.:[ Christian calls for a Taxi, only to see a couple pass right by them. Edge and Christian look at each other, then Christian looks toward the Taxis that past and says... ]:.:. .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. This totally reeks of craptitude! You would have stopped if we weren't BLACK! .:.:[ A black guy hears this, walks up to Christian, and slugs him across the face. Christian stumbles back, holding his jaw. He looks up at the guy as he walks away saying... ]:.:. .:.:[ Christian ]:.:. What did I say? .:.:[ The scene fades as Edge just glares at Christian, shaking his head, as Christian still doesn't know why the guy slugged him. ]:.:.
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