.:.:[ Disclaimer ]:.:. Uh, it's simple really. It's a roleplay. It's not reality. Don't take it personally. To those who actually intend to read these, rather than scroll through it just to see how long it is, sit back in your padded chairs, grab your potato chips, chocolates, licorice, donuts and diet pepsi, adjust your coke bottle lenses and enjoy! C'mon BABY ... ARE YOU READY?
.:.:[ Segment Title ]:.:. Kicking Back With The World Champ 2: SUNNY Days Ahead...
.:.:[ People Used ]:.:.
Jeff Hardy, Sunny,
.:.:[ Foreword ]:.:. Well, it was his stupid ass brother all along, and why aren't we surprised. The Ugly Duckling of the Hardy Family is back with a vengeance, against his kid brother, who happens to be World Champion, and who's renowned as being the Better Hardy, Jeff "The Showstealer" Hardy. Once again his cowardly brother makes his presence felt by attacking Jeff once again. Again, no one is surprised. It's NOT beneath Matt Hardy to do anything. ANYTHING. Jeff knows this. No, he doesn't understand it, but between us, who does? All he knows is he has business to take care of. Raw Is War, The World Champion Jeff Hardy gets his first chance to kick his brother's ass after all the cowardly acts Matt has taken. You bet your ass he's up for this one... Or is he? OF COURSE! After all, he's...
The Most Reckless Electrifying Man in Sports Entertainment!
The scene opens in Cameron, North Carolina. The camera catches footage of the city, as the sun shines brightly on the building, and such. The camera then zooms in on the backyard of Jeff Hardy's Cameron, North Carolina home. He's lounging in a hammock, sipping an unidentified beverage. Jeff's not wearing a shirt or pants, just boxers, sunglasses, and a red bandana which matches the red boxers. A boom box sits underneath the hammock, blasting Kid Rock tunes. The hammock is supported by two trees, as Jeff lays comfortably in it, with his hands behind his head. In the background, the squeaking of the back door squeaking open his heard. Jeff doesn't notice. From around the house, walks Michael Cole with a camera man shortly behind him. Michael Cole sneaks up on Jeff, then touches him on the shoulder. Jeff opens his eyes in surprise, and goes flipping out of the hammock, landing face first on the ground.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Ouch... COLE!
.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Sorry about that Jeff. I really am...
Cole helps him to his feet.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Don't worry about it, man. I'm lounging, so I don't have the energy to kick your ass, but I owe you one.
Jeff climbs back into the hammock, struggling while doing.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Anyway, what's your business here, Cole? You're cutting into my relaxing time.
.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Numerous thing, Jeff. But number one on my list is the situation between you, Mick Foley, Triple H, and your brother, Matt.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Pissed off, man! What else is there to say? I mean really, Cole. My brother, a freakin' coward. Attacking me here, attacking me there. He's a little punk, and I have to put his stupid ass in HIS place. Well, actually, he's already there... That place is BELOW me! Obviously, because who's the Hardy with the World Title? That's right, the younger brother, the better brother, Jeff "The Show Stealer" Hardy. Matt "The Fan Stealer" Hardy. Who, he's very original. Michael Cole, Matt's problem is I'm everything he wants to be. He wants to see me suffer, because I'm a position he can never be in, and that's sitting on top of not only the World Wrestling Federation, but the wrestling world! Matt should stop. I mean really. He's only showing us how much of an idiot he really is!
.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Jeff, I just remembered something... You recently stormed a radio station, with a huge mob of fans behind you... I was there, I remember it like it was just a couple days ago.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. That's because it was a few days ago, moron.
.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Well... What happened?
Jeff rolls his eyes and smiles.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Roll the footage!
.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. [ Cole looks confused. ] There aren't any monitors out here, Jeff.
We get a close up on Jeff...
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. We don't NEED A DAMN MONITOR! This is T.V. MAN!
.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Well said...
The footage is rolled. The scene opens, once again, with a shot of the city in which the Smackdown! Event will take place. The camera sways from side to side, then flashes to another part of the city, to give somewhat of an introduction to this segment. As this is done, Memphis Bleek's "Is That Your Chick" plays in the background. Night remains on the city as the camera zooms in on the radio station, which we have discovered to be the 102.9 KSRL The Beat radio station. The camera takes the viewer inside the building, in the booth, where the disc jockey, with blonde sandy hair, is still frantically trying to think of a plan to get away from Jeff. He's seen here, wearing Khaki pants, with a t-shirt with the words, 'JAM' written across the chest. Meanwhile, in the very same building, The World Champion Jeff Hardy is on his way up to the booth. The camera gets a shot of an elevator. The doors are closed, until their suddenly opened. Inside, Jeff Hardy stands with both hands behind his back and a demonic smile. He steps out of the elevator, and has reached the same floor as the disc jockey in the booth. As he walks, and picks up a steel chair, just as he passes it, without even looking at with. With his hands still behind his back, and twirls it in his hand, folds it, and is ready to use it. Jeff walks to the end of the hall, to a closed door. He attempts to open it. It doesn't bulge. Then then kicks it open, knocking it to the ground. Where did that come from? He steps through, and from across the room, he sees the disc jockey in the booth. The disc jockey looks up at him, and fright is written all over his face. Jeff walks over to the booth, and as he does, the disc jockey moves to the door of the booth, and attempts to hold it close. Jeff overpowers him, opening the door, and sending the disc jockey flying into his seat. Jeff, pulls out some rope, and ties the disc jockey to his seat. Jeff slides him out of his way, and unfolds the steel chair, placing it underneath him. he slides a pair of earphones on and says...
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. To the listen public, and especially ALL those Cameron Crazies out there... It's once again time to get X-Treme! With your World Heavyweight Champion Jeff "The Show-Stealer" Hardy right here on The BEAT 102.9 KSRL! Now for those of you who don't know me... Well, I'll put it simply. I'm the best thing to ever happen to the sport of wrestling, especially the World Wrestling Federation. Proof? In a match with over twenty superstars, the majority were bigger than I, by the way, I CAME OUT ON TOP, winning the World Wrestling Federation Championship in impressive and convincing fashion. Then there's the fact that I'm probably the most charismatic superstar in the WWF, and definitely the most popular, so if you don't know me, your ass better call somebody! Then there's the fact that I'm the most reckless and electrifying man in sports entertainment today! Need I say more? I think all of this is sinking in. Now, I guess you're wondering why I'm here... Well, it's simple really. I was kicking back at the hotel, bored, of course, and thought to myself, "I need to get in a little trouble". Well, I was actually planning on maybe going to the mall and kicking people in their ass all day long... Literally kick them in their ass, yes. But on the way, I turned to this radio station, and you wouldn't believe how freakin' bored I was. MAN! It was almost as boring as my brother! So, that's when plans changed. I had to make this show, MY show. Yeah, that's right, The Show Stealer and stole the show! Pretty ironic, huh? Shouldn't be. They don't call me Jeff "The Show Stealer" Hardy for nothing!
.:.:[ Disc Jockey ]:.:. You sure are full of yourself!
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Excuse me for a second...
Jeff takes off his shoe, then takes off his sock. He slides his shoe back on, then walks over to the disc jockey. The jockey moves his head back and forth frantically trying to avoid it, but to no avail. Jeff shoves the sock into his mouth, then takes some tape from the disc jockey's desk, and wraps it around his head and mouth to keep the sock in. He returns to his desk, and slides the earphones back on.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Sorry about that. I just had a little business to take care of. You're back with The Show Stealer on HIS show, Show Stealer In Radio Land! Again, I can't stress enough people, this is MY show. Therefore, it's MY rules! [ Jeff flicks off the censor switch. Now nothing is censored. ] Now, there's sooo much stuff on my mind. I'm serious. I have a lot talk about. This stuff ranges from my upcoming title defense against The Undertaker, to the power struggle between Mick and Vince. Here I sit, with this World Title, in the middle of all of it. I'm the biggest superstar in the WWF. I MEAN A LOT to the World Wrestling Federation, and the wrestling world for that matter. Taker, you shouldn't even try to deny that, because we ALL know it's true. Jeff Hardy is the man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the MAN! You know, I was sitting back in my home in Cameron, North Carolina n the front porch right... Then this guy walks up to me, wearing sun glasses. He lifts them up, and then says, "Jeff, you're the man!", then he just keeps walking. You see?! I'm the MAN!
The telephone begins to blink. Jeff jumps back and says...
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Whoa, Batman...
Jeff presses the phone...
.:.:[ Male Caller #1 ]:.:. That story you told... Really didn't happen... Did it, Jeff?
Jeff hangs up on the guy, then says...
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Okay, look people. When you call in... Don't question The Show Stealer, but it's HIS show. Whether it happened or not is irrelevant. I'm still the man. Hmm... Well, what to say, what to say. This radio stuff is really harder than I thought... Now that I think about it, I wonder when I get a shot to deliver Swan-Ton Bomb again? I haven't hit that move since I've had this title. That's CRAZY! But I think we all know when I get that chance to fly through the air, and hit someone the most graceful move in the World Wrestling Federation! Thursday Night Smackdown! is Jeff Hardy's time to shine once again! It's yet another chance to prove the very fact that I am one hell of a champion, and the real deal. Who better to do that against than The Undertaker? This is going to be A LOT of fun... For me anyway, especially when I sore off the top rope showing The Taker just what I mean about High Flyin'. You gotta believe I'm ready to go. I am the best damn wrestler in the world, and I got the World Title to prove it. All I can do is prove the doubters wrong over and over again. I'm the best high flyer with the best stamina. I have that never say die attitude, that NO ONE else in the WWF has. No one can bounce back from near-defeat to rebound as smoothly as I can. No one in the world combines power with grace, balance, and skill the way I do. There are a lot of great wrestlers out there. Yet, not one of them is the complete package. No one except me. Not Triple H, not Hollywood Hogan, and God knows not The Undertaker! I am the complete package. I have the gift... And nooobody does it better!
A Couple Days Later...
Jeff is still in the radio station, with a bottle of liquor in his right hand, rocking back and forth, talking about this and that, and very drunk.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Hey, you gotta know something... People listenin' to me. Know this. I AM the best wrestler in the WWF. I don't care, [ Jeff burps. ] Who, WHO, you compare me too... I'm better! Austin, Kane, or that Triple H! I hate him... Triple H. I owe him a little something, too. He's get his... Get his... ON RAW! Triple H hasn't stepped into the ring with me yet... No way, he hasn't. I don't remember. No, he hasn't. Not with the World Champion. Who's the World Champion? I AM! He doesn't know what to expect, and he damn sure doesn't know what I can do. I'm off the charts. The charts! I'm unmatched. I have no... No equal. I am the one and only. I am The Show Stealer. I can't wait until Raw. [ Jeff laughs. ] I'm gonna rearrange that God awful face of his! Somebody must have beat his sorry ass with an ugly stick. Triple H man... Eww... The very sight of him, [ Jeff burps. ] Makes me want to kick his ass, 'cause- 'cause he's so damn ugly. And then there's my brother, Matt. My brother... My- My, brother, is a queer... Yeah, I SAID IT! Kiss my- my... You know... One time... We we were little. [ Jeff laughs, and nearly slides out of his seat. ] You gonna like this. One time- LISTEN TO ME! Wait... Yes... One time, I walked in on my brother. Yes. My big brother, Matthew... Exper- Experi-... Having SEX, with a friend of his... I SAW IT! His friend... Friend. Who? Yes... His friend... A MAN! You see, now... [ Jeff burps. ] You see now, Matt is a queer. Yeah, has to be... He has wet dreams about- about Stephanie McMahon! [ Jeff laughs hysterically, and falls out of his chair. ] Where am I? [ He climbs back up. ] Kids, don't drink. It's bad... REALLY bad. Yes.
The door in the radio station booth swings open, and in walks SUNNY!
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Who the fuck are you, bi- bitch?!
Tammy walks quickly up to Jeff, wearing an open white shirt, with a red bra, and tight jeans and boots, and slaps him in the face. Jeff falls to the ground face first, holding the side of his face. He looks up, and says...
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. OUCH! What was that for?
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. Don't EVER call me a bitch!
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Whoa... Sorry! Hey... If I'm drunk. How could I feel that?
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. That's because you're not drunk, Jeff!
Tammy picks up the bottle of liquor, shakes it, then waves it underneath her nose.
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. It's Big Tim's Non-Alcohol Beer, Jeff! You're not drunk. You're such an idiot, sometimes.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Hey, chick, you don't know me like that. I haven't even accepted your little proposal to manage me, remember that.
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. Sure you did.
Sunny says this with a smile, then leans a bit toward Jeff, showing cleavage. Jeff isn't thinking straight thanks to this sight, as he takes a seat in his chair again.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. I did?
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. Oh yeah, Jeff, you did. Now Jeff, you have a huge match coming up on Raw, sweat heart.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Sha', and?
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. Well, you should be getting ready for it, instead of hanging out in this radio station. Everyone outside is gone, Jeff. You should know they weren't going to stay with you over the course of the few days. And on another note, right after your match on Smackdown!, you came back here to bad mouth your idiot brother, Matt, and Triple H. I'm a little worried about you.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Wow, I'm surprised. Wasn't Matt your first choice to manage?
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. Well, Jefferey-
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Don't call me that.
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. Well Jeff, I'm with you know, so what's the problem. Besides, Matt? He's a loser, well, compared to you... Look at you Jeff. You're the WORLD CHAMPION! When I came into the WWF, he was the FIRST I saw, but when I saw you shortly after that... I knew you were the one.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Ya, ya, likely story babe. Just remember something. I am the best. Hands down. You're with the best now. Hands down. I expect nothing but the best. Hands down.
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. Stop saying hands down! Oh... Up for pool?
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. [ Jeff rips his shirt off. ] Hell yeah!
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. No sweetie... Pool! [ She whips out a pool stick. ]
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Where were you hiding that?
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. Oh, wouldn't you like to know.
Jeff looks down, then races out of the booth. Tammy smiles, and claps her hands. She then says...
.:.:[ Sunny ]:.:. My work here is done...
We return to Jeff lounging in the hammock by Michael Cole.
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Well Cole, that's the story. She used her sex appeal to get me out of the radio station... I don't know what was wrong with me, but I was in bad shape. The radio station was like a drug, Cole. I couldn't get enough of it. I kept going back for more and more. You know what, Tammy is a lot like a drug. I mean, last night, I couldn't get enough of her. I kept going back for more and more.
.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Jeff... More than I needed to know. Any last words?
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Hmm... I don't have much to say... I'm so damn tired. Worn out, man. Worn out. Yeah, I can see the smile on Hunter and Matt's face when I said that. Don't worry boys, the World Champ will be back on his feet come Monday to kick your asses!
.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. Jeff, you haven't even mentioned Mick Foley, yet...
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. You know, you're right. Anyway, Triple H, Matt- I'm joking Cole. I think it's an honor to have Mick on my side. He's the only guy I know who will put his entire body on the line to win a match, other than me. We're a lot alike, except, I'm obviously far better looking, and I'm young. Other than that, we're the same!
.:.:[ Michael Cole ]:.:. ... Jeff, are you sure about that?
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. You ask to many questions, Cole! I'm gonna go ahead and rap this up. Mick Foley and Jeff Hardy, two of the most reckless wrestlers in the history of the game, are about to take on one guy who's a total moron, who throws tantrums and tries to hurt people when he sees they're better than him, and there's not a damn thing he can do about it. Yeah, my idiot brother. And then there's a guy who will cheat and use people to claw his way to the top of the federation. Monday Night, Foley and I stop these two dead in their tracks. Between Mr. Socko, and the greatest finisher known to man, the Swan-Ton, Monday Night Raw is going to be one hell of a show, starring the Show Stealer himself, Jeff Hardy. Fan Stealer? I still can't get over that. It only emphasizes further the stupidity of Matt Hardy, and how he just can't get over the fact that I'm better than him. don't make the mistake and feel sorry for the piss ant, 'cause when you do, BANG! He hits you with a chair. There's something wrong with this kid, and it's up to the Show-Stealer to fix it! Cole, one thing I've noticed about wrestling is that when wrestlers step into the ring, on opposing sides, only one side, no matter how many are involved, can win. I didn't JUST notice it... Nevermind! Bottomline is that there's only ONE ultimate winner, and that's me. People like Triple H, Matt Hardy others are a dime a dozen. People like me come along once in a lifetime, and that's nothing but the facts, JACK! Now, it's time to strap on the laces, and get ready for The Main Event, The, Jeff Hardy! With that...
Jeff Hardy, The High Flyer, The Heartbreaker, "The Show-Stealer has spoken...
.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Kid Rock... TAKE US HOME!
Jeff Hardy gets a little too excited, and sits up too fast. He goes flipping out of the hammock, landing on his face... The scene fades...
.:.:[ Conclusion ]:.:. Jeff "The Show Stealer" Hardy is not himself lately. Perhaps the addition of Sunny in his life is changing things, or maybe the life as a World Champion just isn't all it's cracked up to be in his eyes. Whatever the reason for his recent behavior, he promises us it will have no effect on his performance Monday Night. We can only hope, because it's no secret that Matt wants him dead, and Triple H is out for blood...