The scene opens backstage at Dennis Miller Live, in a beautiful and rather large Very Important Person room. The room is very well furnished with rich carpet and imported paintings hanging abundantly on the walls. In this room, we find Billy Gunn, seated in a black leather couch, positioned in front of a television in the room. Billy Gunn has had a lot on his mind as of late with King Of The Ring around the corner, a stalker in his midst, and the European Championship Match on Raw Is War, shown here wearing an expensive and well styled black suit, with his hair back in a ponytail. Down the the cuff lings, Billy Gunn has dressed in the most expensive attire available in the United States. Billy Gunn seems to be a little worried as he leans forward in the couch, with his hands clasped together before his face. Without a bit of emotion, he sits, watching the opening monologue of Dennis Miller, probably the smartest successful comedian at the time. Suddenly, Michael Cole bursts through the door with a camera man behind him. Billy Gunn jumps back in the couch, taken by surprised by the loud and unsuspected noise from the forced open door. Michael Cole, quickly takes a seat next to Billy Gunn, with the camera man standing before them. Michael Cole looks at Billy in his impressive attire, and is taken by surprise himself. He leans back at bit, and says...
Michael Cole: Whoa... You, you look incredible. I didn't expect you to wear something this impressive to Dennis Miller Live. Yeah, it's a good show, but come on. You should have been yourself, Billy.
Mr. Ass: Are you trying to tell Billy Gunn how to live his life Michael Cole? Lately, you've really been on my nerves. Can't I get a rest? Why would you interview me before I go out there? Did you ever think that perhaps, the questions you have may just be answered when I'm interviewed by Dennis Miller? You're an idiot, Michael Cole. A bone fide, freaking, idiot. You remind me of Kurt Angle.
Michael Cole: Look, I'm sorry. I just wanted to ask you how it felt to be one of the quarter finalists in the King of the Ring Tournament.
Mr. Ass: Well, if you think I'm surprised, then you have another thing coming, Michael Cole. Do you honestly believe that there could have been another result? The World Wrestling Federation needs me to win this tournament, for the better of the federation. Out the current finalists, who could hold up such a title, better than I? Essa Rios? Get real. He can't even speak English. Jesse James? He can't even speak English! Kurt Angle? Monday, I'm going to prove why he has no business even competing in the tournament. The Rock? Recycled catch phrases says it all. I'm the man for the job, Mike Cole.
Michael Cole: I see. Well, I'm going to take your advice and ask you more questions after Dennis Miller interviews you. Yet, I can't resist asking you this question, what are your feelings on Chris Jericho's words to you?
Billy Gunn looks at Michael Cole, quite confused. Michael Cole takes notice of this, and says...
Michael Cole: He said something the effect of, "I respect Billy Gunn, but I will defeat him to become King of the Ring." He also said that you have the ability to reach the finals, and that you're a great wrestler. Again, something to the effect of. I'm not sure that's exactly what he said.
Mr. Ass: I get the point. I thank Chris Jericho for the compliments. Yet, I get them all the time, so the value of his words were not great. However, one of his quotes were, and that's his "promise" to win the King of the Ring. What fuels the fire is that he says he's going to defeat me to accomplish this. I'd hate to break it to the little guy, but that's not going to happen. Billy Gunn will reign triumphant, and become the ever fabled, King Ass. I will have more on the King of the Ring later, Mike Cole. As of now, that's all I have to say. Please leave my quarters. I have some thinking to do.
Michael Cole: Are you nervous, Billy?
Mr. Ass: Out!
The scene shifts to Dennis Miller, standing before his large audience, just finishing his monologue. Dennis Miller, as usual, is wearing a suit, dressed appropriately for hosting a show with your name in the title. We catch Dennis Miller just beginning to speak on his guest, Billy Gunn.
Dennis Miller: Now, we have a very interesting guest here tonight. He's employed with the World Wrestling Federation, one of the most prominent promotions in the nation. Billy Gunn hit the WWF just recently, and he's really taken the wrestling world by storm. Now, granted, this guys attitude is rather sickening in character, but I'm sure you're going to see another side of the man they call, Mr. Ass. At the present time, he's bidding for King of the Ring, a prestigious tournament in the WWF. Please, give a warm welcome for, Billy Gunn.
The audience rises to their feet with cheer, as Billy Gunn comes from backstage, and greets Dennis Miller, and then the crowd. At this time, it hits Billy Gunn. He's now a superstar. Scoring the biggest audience in Dennis Miller Live history, Billy Gunn takes a seat next to Dennis Miller, as Dennis too, takes a seat. The crowd dies down as Billy waves, and smiles.
Mr. Ass: Well, I didn't know I was this popular, until now.
Dennis Miller: Believe me, Billy, if you weren't popular, we wouldn't have had you on the show.
Mr. Ass: True, true...
Dennis Miller: Tell me something, Billy. What's the deal with this mystery person? This guy who has deliberately called you out, stating that you are not as good as you say. I know you have some words for this guy. I mean, I know I should be asking questions about how you entered the World Wrestling Federation, or how you were turned onto wrestling to begin with, but really, I can't resist here.
Mr. Ass: Say no more. I understand. When I can be noticed by someone who hasn't even entered the federation yet, I'm doing my job. I'm getting under people's skin, and I'm doing it while showing great talent and ability. I'm doing my job. I can't help it if someone doesn't like Billy Gunn. I just have to continue to be me.
Dennis Miller: Well, what about your bosses? Have they done anything about this?
Mr. Ass: First of all, Miller, I'm not owned by anyone. Now I'm sure you're in reference to Stephanie McMahon, or Shawn Michaels. Look, since my joining, I haven't even talked to them. I have no clue what they're thinkin' or what they're doin'. I've just been holding up my side of the bargain. That bargain was for me to kick ass, and to be paid handsomely for it. I doubt they'll do anything about this. I really don't think they care. Keeping a federation like this one going is as hard as gets to my knowledge. They have some busy schedules and everytime I see them, rushing, yelling, pullin' their hair out, I thank God that I'm a wrestler.
The crowd claps for this, and Billy Gunn turns to them, and smiles...
Dennis Miller: Again, I should be asking different types of questions, but I've been watching this wrestling lately. I notice that you have a match for a championship. The guy you're wrestling is an Olympic Champion and actually the current champion of the belt you two will be wrestling for. Who is this guy, and do you think you can take him?
Mr. Ass: Think? I know. This will be a simple match, Dennis. As I said before, the WWF has made a mistake by placing me in this division. I am built for main event status. Placing me in this division and having me win the title, as I don't know of any other possible result of Monday's match, no one will ever touch that belt again, besides myself. This division won't even be competitive after I'm done with it. I was thinking that after I hold the title for a while, maybe I should give the title away, or sell it. I'll sell it for a fair amount, you know. Probably to a person who doesn't have the ability to win it outright. Maybe someone like Jesse James. I'm a good guy. As for Kurt Angle. He's a joke. I can't believe I'm actually wrestling this poor excuse for a wrestler. He's just some loser practically built as a wrestler in a power plant by the WWF. He's a developed athlete. I'm a born athlete. On another note, this guy says I look like a woman. Am I the only person here who sees something extremely wrong with that statement. I am a person who has a lot of admirers. There are a lot of women out there who obsess over me. Yet, for a fellow wrestler to be turned on to me physically under the assumption that I have girl like appearances, I am sickened and surprisingly frightened.
If Kurt Angle believes I wrestle like a woman, I pity him. You see, you can never take my skill for granted. You can never under estimate me. I guarantee that I will make you pay for that mistake. How stupid can he possibly be? I can't understand how these talent lacking wrestlers in this federation continue to say I suck. I suck? Get real! It's time for these losers to take a look in the mirror for a picture perfect definition of a wrestler who sucks. I can't stop them from under estimating me. One other thing about Kurt. I've never seen a person, besides The Rock, who can be so repetitive without even trying. I swear, in his last two segments, at first glance, I thought they were identical. I figured the second one was just a director's cut of the first. How can I work with such a wrestler? The trading of dialogue between us builds just how good the match will be. How can a match be good when one of the parties refuses to be any good. I don't think Kurt Angle is trying. You can try and be that terrible of a wrestler. Work with me Kurt!
Dennis Miller: Now lets get down to the dirt, Billy. What's going on between you and your co-worker, Lillian Garcia. Like I've said, I've been watching lately, and there's no doubt that the young lady has her eyes on you Billy.
Mr. Ass: It's all business Dennis. I never mix business with pleasure. You can't. The relationship always ends in tragedy. It can't be a one night stand, because I see this chick everyday I go into work. So, I just label her as off limits. Besides, Michael Cole, her co-host on one of the update shows say he'll kill me if I even lay a hand on her. So, there's an interesting storyline developing backstage. I would be embarassed, however, if we brought this out to the public. As I just did...
Billy Gunn laughs as the audience joins in.
Dennis Miller: I'll tell you this, after watching wrestling for the past two or three weeks, I have come to the realization that this is a real fucked up sport!
Sorry for the lack of length or true quality in this interview. I have been having problems at home, and it's hard to juggle this, a second priority with the first priorities in my life. This segment, does however, get to the gist of what Billy Gunn feels about his European Championship Match.
In case you're wondering, this interview continues with Dennis Miller asking Billy about his past in the WWF. Nothing special, and nothing relevant to the match.