opens in a rather large room, filled with the likes of reporters, cameramen, and
security guards positioned in the room accordingly. Conversations of all kinds
are being carried out between the occupants of the room. Each person raises the
level of their voice just to be heard, and the chain reaction makes for a very
noisy environment. These people are anxiously awaiting the arrival of the newly
crowned King of the Ring, the anonymous favorite to win the prestigious
tournament among the fans of the wrestling world, and for great reason. This
wrestler has made his mark on the wrestling world, and he wasting no time in
doing it. He made sure his voice was heard among all, even dragging a wrestling
self-proclaimed legend out of retirement. The reporters, however, are beginning
to become quite restless, as this rookie sensation has been keeping them waiting
for quite a long time. The room is well lit, and the lights are assisted by the
windows to the left of the entrance, that are partially covered by curtains.
This room has been modeled for a press conference, and that's exactly what will
take place here. A pedestal stands atop a small but acknowledgeable stage. Once
again, as the reporters restlessness becomes more evident, the music of the King
of the Ring hits the speakers as the lights flicker, leaving the reporters and
cameramen speechless and in search of the entrance the King of the Ring will be
using. From behind the curtain appears the man of the hour. Those in attendance
give this man a warm welcome with a strong applause and cheer. True to his form,
the man of the hour dances on the stage, slowly turning and flaunting his
backside. The female reporters scream a little, then look around and realize
just where they are. The lights are restored as Billy Gunn steps to the podium,
and proceeds to give his speech.
Itís good to be King. Damn good! I canít help but laugh when I see Kurt
Angle mouthing off about winning King of the Ring when I have already won. I
hope the moron was giving the segment for next yearís King of the Ring. Ha!
Yet, right now, will all of that aside, I would like to present to you, one of
my matches in King of the Ring. I want to show you my expertise in the ring.
The lights are
killed, as film is played and is projected on the wall. The reporters turn to
the white wall to the left of Billy Gunn, and watch with a great deal of
not, Iím going to coach you through thisÖ
of the Ring
Howard Finkle - This match is a Standard Match. On his way to the ring at this time, weighing in at 240 pounds, from Parts Unknown, Edge!!! (crowd cheers ******)
[Edge's music plays as spotlights flash on the crowd. Edge then appears in the crowd and gets to the ring.]
Howard Finkle - and his opponent, weighing in at 268 pounds, from Austin, Texas, Mr. Ass!!! (crowd cheers ***********)
[I'm an Ass man! Mr Ass's music plays as he walks down the isle and steps into the ring Edge just drilled Billy Gunns head into the floor Mr. Ass drops Edge with a Gorilla Press Slam on the mat. (the bell rings) Edge kicks in the back of the leg. gets back to his feet. Billy Gunn uppercuts Edge. comes from behind and bulldogs Edge. Mr. Ass grabs Edge and applies an arm wrench. Edge executes a reverse DDT on Billy Gunn.]
Jim Ross - If Edge keeps using moves like that Reverse DDT he could win the match! Edge has really become a force along with his brother in the federation. I see a tag team title reign in their near future. Only time will tell. Someone has to get the titles out of the Hardy Boyz hands. They havenít been seen since they won them!
[Edge sends Mr. Ass to ringside. Christopher Cranefield starts the count (.1)]
Billy Gunn: Here, I was merely baiting Edge. I let him think he had me, which is a rookie mistake in the first place. Being that heís young and stupid, I knew heíd fall for it. We went to ringside, and thatís where I turned the tables. I have that ability you know. Everything I do in that ring, I do for a reason.
[(..2) Mr. Ass pokes Edge in the eye with his thumb. (...3) grabs Edge and hits him with a European uppercut. (....4) Mr. Ass measures Edge up and drops a closed fist.]
Gunn: My power was just
overwhelming for the little squirt. I understand, though. Some of the strongest
in the game canít handle a momentum shift in my favor. Actually, none of them
can! Anyway, I have yet to really deliver some damage to Edge. Right now, Iím
just having my way with this twirp.
[(.....5) Edge and Mr. Ass move back into the ring. Edge delivers a kick to the head of Mr. Ass. Mr. Ass gets up. Edge takes down with a knee. Edge fist drops on the mat. Edge is back on his feet. Mr. Ass picks Edge up and side slams him to the mat. Mr. Ass gets back to his feet. Billy Gunn knocks Edge to the floor Christopher Cranefield starts the count (.1)]
Billy Gunn: Edge snuck in a kick. As you can see, that really pissed me off. I began to come a little more aggressive. It ultimately lead to me side slamming him into the ring. I knocked him out of the ring, and there we danced on the outside.
[(..2) Billy Gunn rolls onto Edge connecting with a knee. Now Edge standing. (...3) Edge takes Mr. Ass down with a knee. Mr. Ass stands up. (....4) They fight into the aisle. Billy Gunn and Edge move back to ringside. takes Edge into the ring. Billy Gunn kicks Edge in the stomach.]
Billy Gunn: Sometimes, like destroying my opponents on the outside. This is something that has been perfected by the Ass Man, and should be treated as such. In other words, wrestlers donít try this in your matches. And kids, donít try this at home.
[Now Edge standing. Billy Gunn punches Edge in the head. Billy Gunn bounces Edge off the ropes and clotheslines him. Mr. Ass covers Edge. Christopher Cranefield counts. ...1 ...2 Edge escapes.]
Billy Gunn: If he were the British Bulldog, I would have had him here. After this, Edge is going to wish I did pin him. But he tries and makes a little comeback. Take a lookÖ
[Edge gets up. Mr. Ass hiptosses Edge. Edge just said goodbye to Billy Gunns after the powerbomb Edge covers Mr. Ass hooking the leg. Referee Christopher Cranefield makes the count. ...1 ...2 Mr. Ass kicks out.]
Billy Gunn: Great move by Edge, well, bad move. This was the move that ultimately lead to me kicking his ass in the end! Well, finishing him off with, you know whatÖ
[Mr. Ass gets back to his feet. Edge applies a boston crab to Billy Gunn. Christopher Cranefield asks Billy Gunn if he quits. ... ... Billy Gunn escapes.]
Billy Gunn: Weak move by Edge. That was so easy to break out of. I did so in a manner of seconds.
[Billy Gunn bounces Edge off the ropes and hits him with a backdrop. Edge moves back to his feet. Mr. Ass sends Edge to ringside. Christopher Cranefield starts the count (.1)]
Billy Gunn: Edge could use some help about now, Ďcause Iím kickiní his ass. I knock him to the outside with intent to destroy, you seeÖ
[(..2) Edge gets thrown into the corner and gets boot choked by . (...3) Edge connects with a flying knee. Billy Gunn goes down.]
Billy Gunn: Here in the corner of the security rail, we see Billy Gunn choking the life out of Edge with his boot. Edge comes back, however, with a flying knee. Good for him, he escaped deathÖ Iím joking, Iím joking!
[(....4) Edge applies an arm wrench to . (.....5) Mr. Ass takes Edge into the ring. Mr. Ass uses a snap mare takeover on Edge.]
Billy Gunn: Mr. Ass executes a snap mare. The snap mare delivers a strong momentum obtainer, as if Edge even tries to make a shift in this match in his favor, I will always hold control.
[Edge kicks Billy Gunn in the back of the leg. Now Billy Gunn standing. Edge kicks Billy Gunn in the head. Billy Gunn is up again. Billy Gunn grabs Edge's head and DDT's him on the mat. Billy Gunn delivers a spine buster to Edge.]
Billy Gunn: Ooo, that had to hurt!
[Mr. Ass executes the sleeperhold on Edge. Referee Christopher Cranefield is checking for a tap out. ... Edge tries to escape. ... Edge tries to escape. ... Edge is fighting the hold. Edge escapes. Mr. Ass drags Edge to the floor. Christopher Cranefield starts the count (.1)]
Billy Gunn: Playing with the boy at this timeÖ
[(..2) Edge takes down with a knee. (...3)(....4) Edge fist drops Billy Gunn on the floor. (.....5) They head back into the ring. Edge kicks Billy Gunn in the stomach. Billy Gunn is back on his feet. Edge takes Mr. Ass down with a knee. Mr. Ass gets up. Edge delivers a kick to the head of Mr. Ass. Mr. Ass is up again. Edge kicks in the stomach. Mr. Ass is up again. Edge gets hit with a running powerslam by Mr. Ass Mr. Ass hits Edge with an elbowdrop from the second turnbuckle. Billy Gunn climbs to his feet and rolls onto Edge connecting with a knee. Billy Gunn chants start. Piledrives Edge into the mat. Jackhammers Edge onto the mat! Billy Gunn brings Edge to his feetÖ Fame-Ass-Er! Billy Gunn covers Edge hooking the leg. The ref starts the count. ...1 ...2 ...3]
Billy Gunn: Weíve got ourselves a winner! Obviously, itís the only true Badd Ass, Billy Gunn! Well, in the end, I saw if to end the match in a damaging fashion. Edge was really hurt after he walked out of the ring. Look at what I did to him. A piledriver here, a Jackhammer there, then a Fame-Ass-Er in the end. Thatís a enough to end a career of a man, or at last put some years on him in a hurry. So, with me King of the Ring, whatís next? Really, where do I go now. I honestly havenít a clue as to whatís happening in the federation. Well, I havenít checked. Call it a vacation. Now, this segment is really a waste. I have nothing, and I mean nothing to do, so Iím just wasting time here. Lets hope we don't have another World Wrestling Federation crash. It's terrible when a man of my caliber and my looks can't showcase both qualities. Lets go World Wrestling Federation! Take care of your Franchise Wrestler, The Badd Ass Billy Gunn. Hmm... Huh... Ah... Well?... Yeah, I don't have a damn thing to say to you people. Honestly, I'm bored out of my mind. I need someone to do, or something to see. Now I know this was suppose to be a Press Conference with yours truly, but I here Gary Coleman is in the building. Why don't you round the little guy up, and ask him all the questions you have. Oh, and since you people like gossip so much, I scored with Cameron Diaz over the weekend, and did you know that Derek the camera guy is being portrayed by Ben Affleck? Believe it or not...
The scene fades with Billyís music
hitting the speakers and his exit, but not without a little dancing to the
delight of those at home and those in attendance.