|.:.:[ Disclaimer ]:.:. Uh, it's simple really. It's a roleplay. It's not reality. Don't take it personally. To those who actually intend to read these, rather than scroll through it just to see how long it is, sit back in your padded chairs, grab your potato chips, chocolates, licorice, donuts and diet pepsi, adjust your coke bottle lenses and enjoy! C'mon BABY ... ARE YOU READY?|
.:.:[ Segment Title ]:.:. You can never be ready for The Badd Ass!
.:.:[ Single Record ]:.:. 2-0
.:.:[ Tag-Team Record ]:.:. 0-0
.:.:[ Accomplishments ]:.:. PWO Royal Rumble Winner 2001
.:.:[ People Used ]:.:.
.:.:[ Foreword Scene ]:.:. The scene opens once again with highlights from Pro Wrestling Online's Smackdown!, a show packed with action from the opening fireworks. Matches like the incredible main event, with Triple H, Sid, and Gangrel taking on Vampiro, Raven, and Sting are in the highlights, along with highlights of out-of-ring action, like Angle and Gunn's confrontation in the ring, and the opening rants of Triple H. Clips that are dominant in these highlights are from Gunn's relatively easy victory of The Undertaker and The Rock. Past Gunn matches are also shown with past Hall matches, along with classic footage of his victory in the PWO Royal Rumble 2001. While these highlights play, and much more, in the background plays Mr. Ass' theme music, along with Billy Gunn's commentary on the latest happenings in Pro Wrestling Online...
.:.:[ Foreword ]:.:. You want a foreword, wrestling fans? Who better to give it to you than the man who has it all, and then some, with a side of ass? Life is good, fans. Damn good. I'm riding into Raw Is Was in high spirits, knowing that when I walk out, I have a shot at the World Title. Scott Hall, I've said it over and over again, but I have no damn respect for you as a wrestler. I don't even like you as a person. That's why when I kick your ass on Monday, well, hey, I won't have any remorse for you, basically. If I wanna slam your head into the steel steps, I'll do that with no question. If I want to nail your ass with a steel chair after I pin you, well, I'LL DO THAT! It's my show Monday, Hall. MY SHOW! You're just a role in a long drawn out story of the rise of power of Billy Gunn in PWO. I want that world Title, Hall. And the road to getting it is through you. Easier done that said, believe me. You want the most prestiges Title in the business? Jackass, you can't even pronounce prestigious. You see Hall, you can talk all you want, but when it comes time for your ass to back that up, and stop Billy Gunn from being the dominant force in wrestling today, and more importantly than that, win the World Title, you won't and you can't. Hall, I'm out of your league. Hall, I'm just too damn good for you. Hall, on Monday Night, I'm gonna own your sorry old ass from match start to match finish, and do you know what you can do about that? Absolutely NOTHING!
The Ass Man has spoken...
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. The scene opens in San Antonio, Texas. The camera gets a shot of The Tower, The Alamo, The River Walk, and other tourist attractions in the great city of San Antonio, Texas. It's one exciting evening for San Antonio, for the San Antonio Spurs are taking on the Los Angeles Lakers as we speak. The camera takes us to the spot of the action, the Alamodome. The parking lot is crowded, as the camera gets good footage of this. The camera then takes us inside the arena, passing through mobs of fans until reaching the floor, where the San Antonio Spurs and the Los Angeles Lakers are in the middle of the game. The camera takes us to the press box, where we find Bill Walton and Bob Costas giving play-by-play analysis on the game for those at home. The camera's audio is implemented, and we're able to hear what they're talking about, as the Los Angeles Lakers take a time out, to spell a San Antonio run. The crowd is on their feet in excitement, as Costas says...
.:.:[ Bob Costas ]:.:. ...And the Lakers want a timeout! We'll be back with the NBA on NBC, after a short break.
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. They go to commercial, and the broadcasting duo remove their earphones, and place the microphone away from their mouths. Walton turns, and looks at Costas. Costas turns and looks at Walton.
.:.:[ Bob Costas ]:.:. What?
.:.:[ Bill Walton ]:.:. Nothing, Bob, nothing at all. Just wondering if you've noticed the celebrity turn out San Antonio is having today. This really shows just how big a game this is!
.:.:[ Bob Costas ]:.:. Walton, we're off the air, right now. Please... Don't talk to me.
.:.:[ Bill Walton ]:.:. [ Walton laughs. ] Ah, good one, Bob. As I was saying, to our right, across the the court, we have Kevin Garnett. I'm quite surprised to see him here. I wonder who he's routing for. Bob, I'd bet he's routing for the Lakers.
.:.:[ Bob Costas ]:.:. That's not Kevin Garnett. That's a cop of goodness sake! He's not even black!
.:.:[ Bill Walton ]:.:. I guess you don't know why he's probably routing for the Lakers.
.:.:[ Bob Costas ]:.:. I don't care... Look!
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Bob Costas points behind him to Billy Gunn, who's seated near the front row, enjoying the game with Pamela Paulshock. He doesn't even notice Costas pointing at him.
.:.:[ Bill Walton ]:.:. Bob, what a surprise. We have Brad Pitt here in the Alamo City this evening.
.:.:[ Bob Costas ]:.:. That's not Brad Pitt, you moron. That's Billy Gunn. A professional wrestler in PWO.
.:.:[ Bill Walton ]:.:. Wrestling? Wrestling is not a sport. It's a mockery, a sham. I don't want any part of it. I frown on professional wrestling, Bob.
.:.:[ Bob Costas ]:.:. And the world of broadcasting frowns on you...
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Now that we've found Billy Gunn, the camera takes us to him, as he sits with a drink in his left hand, and his right arm around Pamela Paulshock, wearing a Spurs black and silver shirt, with black jeans, a beaded necklace, and gray tinted sunglasses. Pamela is wearing a red shirt, with very tight black jeans. She's wearing her hair down, as she and Gunn are deep in conversation.
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. ...The Lakers are going to lose, babe, just face it!
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. No, no, no, Billy. Look, Robinson and take Shaquille, and every other big man on the Spurs roster. They'll throw a lot of bodies at him and wear him down, but what about my man Kobe?
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. What about him?
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. Who's gonna stop him?
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. That's almost exactly what the guys backstage in PWO say every time they see me in action. Yeah, you know what, Kobe and I have a lot in common, when you put it like that. The difference is, I CANNOT be stopped, Pam. I'm just too damn good. There's not a man in the wrestling world who can stop a guy with every facet of wrestling covered without exception. I have speed, agility, strength, technical skill, high flyin' skill. EVERYTHING! Not to mention I have a 'never-say... STOP KICKING your sorry ass' attitude. Forget Kobe, he's just arrogant. I'm confident. You're arrogant when you think you're better than you are. With me, I really am this good, Pam.
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. How you managed to make that something about you is beyond me, Billy. Anyway, Billy, MY Lakers are going to win, and that's that. [ She smiles flirtatiously. ]
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. The Spurs are unbeatable. Invincible, or whatever other word you have for something that just cannot be beaten no matter what. [ Gunn thinks a little. ] Yeah, we could call the Spurs, a 'Billy Gunn'. You see, the mentioning of my name has people saying, "Oh, Billy Gunn? Yeah, he's unbeatable." I think we should take it further, and make my name, a phrase that describes something that NEVER loses, 'cause hey, I never lose, Pamela.
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. Suuuure...
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. And here's another reason why the Spurs are going to win. They want it more than the Lakers. They want to show the NBA, especially the Lakers, that they are not tainted champions, and that they are the best team in the NBA. I can definitely see myself in the Spurs shoes. How? [ Pamela rolls her eyes. ] I want the World Title, Pam. You know this. On the way here, it's all I talked about. I want it, and I want it bad. I want that recognition as the third PWO Champion, behind Hall, who was the first, and Triple H. But being third? Where's the significance in that. I have a huge shoes to fill, Pam, 'cause Triple H held that title for a long ass time. However, if there's any man in PWO who can equal are surpass the reign as World Champion he had, it's The Badd Ass Billy Gunn. Hands down. I've said that I have the most skill out of the four man participating in this tournament, and, hey, I still believe it. But Pam, you can add something else to that long list of what Gunn has that no other wrestler has. You can add that The Badd Ass Billy Gunn has the most passion, the most heart for this sport. I've never felt this sincere about winning something in MY LIFE! Back when I won the Royal Rumble, I was no where near the level I'm at right now when it comes to being focused. The World Title would have been mine at Wrestlemania, I assure you. The World Title escaped me. It's time I take what's rightfully mine.
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. Amazing how you went from talking about the Spurs chances, to your passion for winning the World Title. You're good, Gunn. So good, maybe you should be a politician. Well, by doing that, I think you're trying to tell me something, Billy. So, I guess I should just ask you some questions about Raw, so you'll be satisfied and I can at least enjoy the second half of the game. So, Billy, you're about to face an excellent wrestler, Scott Hall, for a shot at the World Title. What are you doing to get prepared for this match.
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. I think the real question is DO I need to be prepared for this match, Pamela. Look, Hall, he's an excellent wrestler in your eyes, but when you compare him to the man who's sitting next to you, he just doesn't measure up. I'm walking into this match, knowing what to expect and what not to expect. Hall's approach is basic "big man", but he ain't that big. My approach- There is no approach. I'm the spur of the moment type of wrestler. Hall's lazy, so he won't be able to keep up with The Ass Man. This is gonna be a match full of high octane, but controlled by ME! I thrive on the momentum I gain after taking my opponent over the top with a Powerslam, and drilling him with a Jackhammer. You just don't know where I'm coming from, and what I'm coming with, Pam. That's why I'm so dangerous. That's why you can't help but glue your eyes to the television set when I hit the ring, because you know anything can happen at any time, when it comes to The Badd Ass Billy Gunn. Scott Hall is about to run into something he's never dealt with before. It's something he will never be ready for.
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. Well Billy, Scott Hall has expressed his feelings on your past achievements, and he's not impressed by them. Your feelings...
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. I'm hurt by that, Pamela... NOT! Since when is The Badd Ass in the business of impressing chumps like Scott Hall? Look, when I won that Rumble, I won it to get a shot at that title. I won it for my fans, my family- Hey, it was a crowning achievement in my life. One that Hall will NEVER have. You know, Pamela, maybe I'm crazy, but, doesn't this sound like a bad case of jealousy from Da Bad Guy? Yeah, I think so. Like I've said, I'm The One the women want, and I'm The One the men want to be. Hall knows he can't be The Badd Ass. He knows that he doesn't have what it takes to be as good or better than The Badd Ass, so, he's gonna sit back and try and belittle one of the greatest feats in PWO History, my winning, from number fifteen, the Royal Rumble, and a shot at the title at WrestleMania. Oh, and did I mention that chump was in the Rumble too? I wonder, if he won it, would he still be unimpressed by the winner. Hey, I guess we'll NEVER know now will we, 'cause his sorry ass didn't even come close to beatin' The Badd Ass!
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. Well Billy, Scott Hall also questioned your heart, and something to the effect of teaching him how to make his package look bigger? Ah, I don't know.
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Not a problem. I checked out what he had to while I was getting ready for our date.
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. Billy, this is strictly business.
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Uh huh, sure, babe, whatever you say. I know what Hall was talking about, and what can I say? This guy worries more about my sex life and preference than what he worries about this match. Hall needs to realize that the ole' Badd Ass is straight as a board, but what I do in my free time is the least of his worries. He's stepping into the ring with a man who can physically dominate him in that ring, like no other man in PWO. He won't admit it, but he knows I have the upper hand. He has to know that! When we talk about Scott Hall, we're talking about a guy who'll tell somebody he's going to kick their asses, get in the ring, and can't even fulfill the promise he made. You know what I'm talking about, girl. He said Angle wasn't didn't even belong in the same RING as him, then, when it's time to put up, Hall is shut up by the Olympic Jackass, Kurt Angle. Then, he turns around and says I'm all talk and no bite. You gotta be kiddin' me! [ Gunn looks at the cameraman who's been taping this entire time from the stairs next to Gunn and Pam's seats. ] Look back, Hall. Remember as early as January of this year, when I TOLD YOU you wouldn't win that Rumble, and why? 'Cause I was in the match. Hall, I was in that match, and you didn't even come close. Hall, think back, as early as last week, when I told The People's Chump, The Rock, I was gonna humiliate his sorry ass and expose him for what he really is... What did Billy Gunn do? He did just that, Hall! Then there was The American Badass. I told him I was gonna teach him what being a Badd Ass is all about. And guess what, you guess it moron, I fulfilled that promise. You? Hell no. In my eyes, you've been a disappointment since PWO's opening. When I look at you, I see a guy who got lucky, and won the World Title before the likes of Triple H and The Badd Ass Billy Gunn entered PWO. I'm here now, Hall, and I'm about to show you why, if I were around before you won that title, you wouldn't be flauntin' that tainted achievement today!
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. All of that, but you didn't say a thing about his questioning your heart.
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. It's really not worth mentioning. He knows that a load of crap! He knows that I've been chasing this damn World Title, and EARNED the shot, but was never given the chance to get it. Hall on the other hand was given plenty of shots at the World Title after he lost it, but hey, he got his ass kicked every time. Triple H owned him. Jericho owned him. Hell, Al Snow owned him. Yeah, I'm bringing back the good ole' days, Hall! Now, it's my turn to have my way with Da Bad Guy. It's my turn to OWN his sorry ass! It all begins on Monday Night. [ Gunn shakes his cup. It's empty. ] Hey, babe, I'm gonna go get a little something for myself. You want anything?
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. Sure. Get me a Dr. Pepper, alright?
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Gunn stands, and holds his hand out, expecting money.
.:.:[ Pamela Paulshock ]:.:. Are you serious?
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Wasn't it you who said this was 'strictly business'? C'mon, give me the money.
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. She folds her arms across her large, voluptuous chest, and begins to pout a little. Gunn laughs, then walks up the stairs, and proceeds into the concessions area of the arena. Monitors are set up all over the place, broadcasting the game, while those getting themselves snacks, drinks, or what have you, an keep track of the course of the game. Gunn casually walks through this large area, which stretches all the way around the arena, on multiple floors. As Gunn looks at prices while he walks, he can't help but take notice of two kids looking over a PWO Smackdown! poster, with Scott Hall, Triple H, Sting, and himself on it. He smiles a little, as the three kids, point and shout at each with enthusiasm. Gunn walks over to them, and hears what they're saying as he draws closer.
.:.:[ Kid #1 ]:.:. I can't wait until Smackdown! comes back here. It was great last time, but last time was so long ago...
.:.:[ Kid #2 ]:.:. I wish Raw was here Monday!
.:.:[ Kid #3 ]:.:. Why?
.:.:[ Kid #2 ]:.:. My brother is some nerd that stays on the internet all day, he knows what's going to happen on Raw before the show. He knows ALL the matches that are going to be on there.
.:.:[ Kid #1 ]:.:. So...
.:.:[ Kid #2 ]:.:. So, he told me that Billy Gunn is gonna wrestle Scott Hall, and the winner will wrestle for the World Title!
.:.:[ Kid #3 ]:.:. Forget Smackdown!, I can't wait for Monday!
.:.:[ Kid #1 ]:.:. Yeah, that's a kick ass match! I can't wait until Scott Hall whoops up on Billy Gunn!
.:.:[ Kid #2 ]:.:. You wish! Hall says he's going to whoop somebody, but he ends up getting whooped! I don't even listen to him anymore. He's all talk, but no walk.
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. You know what kid, you're damn right. Hall says a lot of crap, but does he back it up? HELL NO!
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. All three of the boys turn around, and lay their eyes on The Badd Ass Billy Gunn. You can almost see the excitement surge through their bodies, as the start screaming, reaching for Gunn's hand, and shaking it. They also slap it, giving Gunn 'five'. They turn to each other, in disbelief, yelling, and holding their hands over their heads. After a little time, they settle down, and are ready to hold a conversation with the Badd Ass Billy Gunn. While they were in a frenzy of excitement, Gunn was talking to a good looking woman, who at this time, he's receiving a small piece of paper with her number on it.
.:.:[ Woman ]:.:. Call me!
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. She says as she walks away. Gunn smiles, and nods then slides the number into his pocket, then turns to the kids. As he does this, three teenage boys, with three teenage girls approach Gunn and the kids. The kids look on a little upset, thinking the older kids will take Gunn's attention away from them. Gunn turns, then steps back so he can have everybody in his filed of vision.
.:.:[ Kid #2 ]:.:. I can't believe you're here! You're BILLY GUNN!
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Well kid, while I'm better than the average man in ANY way you can think of, I still have some of the average man's needs. I need to be entertained. And other than sitting down and watching me on the mic, or in the ring, I couldn't think of a better way to entertain myself than to roll up to the Alamo City, and check out one of the biggest games of the year.
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. The teenage guys extend their hands, and Gunn shakes them with a smile. he winks at the girls, who are taken by his good looks. He continues.
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. So, I know the kids are, but you guys and gals wrestlin' fans?
.:.:[ Male Teenager #1 ]:.:. You better believe it, Billy! We love wrestlin'! I've been attending Shawn Michaels wrestlin' school since it's opened. I love it all!
.:.:[ Male Teenager #2 ]:.:. Hey, I just like watching it. Matter of fact, Gunn, you're one of my favorites.
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. That's not surprising. [ Gunn smiles. ]
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Gunn notices the PWO Camera behind the teens and kids. The cameraman pushes his way through, upsetting the kids. He walks up to Gunn, and says...
.:.:[ Cameraman ]:.:. Billy, Scott Hall ranted earlier about his match against you, coming up on Monday Night Raw. It would be helpful, if we could get a direct response from you.
.:.:[ Male Teenager #3 ]:.:. Hey! So you're gonna give one of those, well, I don't know what you call it when you lay into the opponent, but you're gonna give one of those, RIGHT NOW?!
.:.:[ Cameraman ]:.:. I hope so, 'cause this could mean a lot to my career. I'm talking big time raise, Billy!
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Gunn looks at the kids and the teens, who are urging him to do it. He nods his head, and says...
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Alright, alright... But I gotta get back to the game. Gotta make it quick.
.:.:[ Cameraman ]:.:. No problem. I'm not asking for a lot of your time...
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Alright... So the Bad Guy has the audacity, so say that he dominated PWO last year? Let's get real, wake and up smell the coffee, 'cause it ain't no secret that Triple H was the man who dominated PWO last year. One thing I've realized just after hearing that idiot talk once is that you cannot, and I mean you cannot take that son of a bitch's word for truth. He's a liar, a damn damn liar, who'll say any damn thing as long as it sounds right. Hall better than me? While we BOTH know it ain't truth, he's content on trying to pass it as truth. [ Gunn smiles. ] When every man in PWO, all PWO fans, and even he knows different. He knows I'm the better man by FAR. He knows that I'm just too damn good for 'em, but he'll never admit it. That's alright, he doesn't have to. He's the only man who doesn't understand that he sucks in comparison to The Badd Ass Billy Gunn. Everybody and their momma know who the better man is. Monday Night, I prove it. It's that simple. On Monday Night, I prove that Scott Hall is just some overrated chump surviving in this PWO because of his past. That's what The Badd Ass does. He exposes you. Bad Guy, you're a front runner, so as long as things look good for you, you'll at least try and be effective in this place, but after I kick your ass, which is something I do quite well, by the way, [ Gunn laughs. ], I don't we're gonna be seeing a lot of you around much more. I have to say this though, after Triple H kicked your ass every time you attempted to take that title from him, you always kept coming back... Only to get your ass kicked AGAIN and AGAIN. I'm honestly tired of seeing you wrestle for that belt, Hall. My plans for Monday? I want to crush your dreams. I want to crush the motivation you have for continuing to wrestle guys who you CAN'T BEAT! And most of all, I want to put a stop to this crap where you're getting shots at the title, 'cause of your tainted past. It all stops Monday, thanks to The Badd Ass. Why? 'CAUSE HE'S SO DAMN GOOD HE CAN DO THINGS LIKE THAT!
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. A larger crowd has gathered to listen to Gunn. They begin to clap, in response to Gunn's pause think that he's done. He grows angry, and says...
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. I'M NOT FINISHED YET! This whole day I haven't REALLY said much about kickin' ass. I haven't said a whole lot about drilling somebody's head into the canvas with a Fame-Ass-Er. Now's the time. Hall, I've said to past guys who actually thought they had what it took to knock me of my game. I've been called every name in the book, but the reasons why I was called them are all the same. Yeah, jealousy. That's apart of the package that is The Badd Ass Billy Gunn. When you're this damn good, you're The One who lives the life everybody else wants. Hall, I'm the one who is everything you want to be... And more! PWO, Iím the one you all came to see, and Iím the one who makes you come back! Iím the one with the swagger, Iím the one with the talent. I'm the one who your kids look up to. Oh, and I'm the one who'll be kicking your ass 'til the day PWO is NO MORE! Hall, I'm The One who will defeat you on Monday Night. The One who can and will do this, whether you like it or not. There's nothing you can do about it. I'm too damn good to lose to the likes of you. LOOK AT YOU! You're a has been! Hall, you're NOTHING! Former World Champion my ass! Don't even bring that up, 'cause we both know that was a fluke! Triple H owned your ass! Al Snow, yeah, he owned your ass too! The Badd Ass, you better believe he was about to! And now, I'm gonna pick up where I left off in January. To do that, all I gotta do is get through you... YOU GOTTA BE KIDDIN' ME! The Badd Ass, like I said before, Hall, WILL OWN YOUR SORRY ASS ON MONDAY! Now if you're not down with that, I got three words for you, Hall, and you're very, very familiar with 'em...
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. The crowd is silent, not knowing if Gunn's done yet.
.:.:[ Billy Gunn ]:.:. Alright... I'm done.
.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. The crowd claps, and the younger fans in the crowd, begin to shout, and get the crowd louder. It seems as though Gunn is buildi