The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels


.:.:[ Disclaimer ]:.:. Uh, it's simple really. It's a roleplay. It's not reality. Don't take it personally, and layout is a variation of a layout by the handler of Jeff Jarrett. To those who actually intend to read these, rather than scroll through it just to see how long it is, sit back in your padded chairs, grab your potato chips, chocolates, licorice, donuts and diet pepsi, adjust your coke bottle lenses and enjoy! C'mon BABY ... ARE YOU READY?

.:.:[ Segment Title ]:.:. USA's Up All Night

.:.:[ Total Record ]:.:. 1-0
.:.:[ Single Record ]:.:. 1-0
.:.:[ Tag-Team Record ]:.:. 0-0
.:.:[ Accomplishments ]:.:. None

.:.:[ People Used ]:.:. HBK, Rhonda Shear, Pamela Anderson
.:.:[ Wrestlers Mentioned ]:.:. Justin Credible and The X-Factor
.:.:[ Previous Match ]:.:. HBK Shawn Michaels vs. BPP Scott Steiner (Win)
.:.:[ Next Match ]:.:. HBK Shawn Michaels vs. BPP Scott Steiner


.:.:[ Foreword ]:.:. Who's the man?! WHO'S THE MAN?! The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels of course. The first show of Pro Wrestling Alliance has come and gone. The hype for the show was immense, and it did not disappoint in the least bit. Nor did The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels! On two occasions earlier in the week, HBK made himself perfectly clear when he said that not only would Smackdown! be special because it will go down in history as the first PWA event ever, but it will also go down in history as the triumphant return of the man who has brought the sport of wrestling where it is today. He also stated that he would not walk away from this match as the loser, but rather, the winner, in very impressive fashion. What did he do? He came, lived up to his talk, and KICKED ASS! Shawn Michaels is a step closer to the top spot in the business. His first match showed no signs of ring rust, and he's proven to us that his injuries are no longer a factor. Shawn Michaels is wrestling without pain for the first time in half a decade. We're looking at the Shawn Michaels who went from the first man in the rumble, to the being the last man in the rumble, breaking the record for the longest anyone has remained in the Royal Rumble. We're looking at the Shawn Michaels who put on one of the best matches in the history of wrestling with Scott Hall at one of those memorable WrestleMania events. At that time, Shawn Michaels was up and coming. Now, he's already on top. All he needs is the title to prove it. In his first segment, the question was asked "Dare to doubt him now?" Well, he did what he told you he was going to do... Dare to doubt him now?!

That's one dumb move ole' HBK wouldn't make!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. The scene opens in a bedroom. This bedroom is a set on USA Studios where USA's Up ALL NIGHT will be brought America live, with The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. There's no one on the bedroom set yet, but there are plenty of people around it. One of those people being Rhonda Shear, the host of USA's UP ALL NIGHT, who will co-host tonight alongside The Heartbreak Kid. Rhonda is wearing-. She's sitting in a seat while a make-up artist does her make-up for her. Shawn Michaels is also backstage, walking around without a shirt, but with a towel around his neck, and black jeans. He walks past Rhonda while she's getting her make-up done. His attention is engrossed in a newspaper he's holding in front of him, reading about the San Antonio Spurs, who are the best team in the NBA at this time. She grabs his arm, and looks up at him with a smile. The make-up artist sighs, telling her they have to get this done, but she doesn't pay her any attention. 

.:.:[ Rhonda Shear ]:.:. Hey, Sexy Boy! MISS ME?!

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Miss you? Rhonda, babe, I'll die without you! [ Shawn leans to kiss her on the cheek, but the make-up artist intervenes saying... ]

.:.:[ Make-Up Artist ]:.:. Hold on there! You'll mess up her make-up.

 .:.:[ Rhonda Shear ]:.:. Believe me, honey, it's worth it. Do you know who this is? This is The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. Get with the times, darlin'!

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Ah, she's just jealous, 'cause she's not getting a kiss from The HB Kid.

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Shawn kisses her on the cheek. Then backs away with a smile. She winks at him, and he returns it with a smile, and carries on with his newspaper.  Shawn begins to wonder, not realizing where he's going until he walks past a room hearing...

.:.:[ Man's Voice ]:.:. You in here, for some Marijuana?! MARIJUANA?! Aw, this is some BULLSHIT!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Shawn stops dead in his tracks, and backs up, until he's back in the doorway of the room. Inside, he sees what looks like a support group. A bald black guy stands in the middle of the room. His back to Shawn. He rolls his paper up, and leans on the right side of the doorway with his right arm. A white guy who looks like Bob Sagat stands up...

.:.:[ Bob's Look-A-Like ]:.:. Marijuana is not a drug. I used to suck dick for coke.

.:.:[ Man's Voice ]:.:. I'VE SEEN HIM!

.:.:[ Bald Guy ]:.:. Damn...

.:.:[ Bob's Look-A-Like ]:.:. Now there's an addiction! You ever suck some dick for marijuana?

.:.:[ Man's Voice ]:.:. HUH?!

.:.:[ Bald Guy ]:.:. No I... Can't say that I have...

.:.:[ Bob's Look-A-Like ]:.:. I didn't think so...

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Shawn shakes his head in disbelief, and walks on. His mind is no doubt on his match which is just around the corner. Credible, a formidable opponent for any man. Shawn Michaels has worked with the best, Jose Lothario to train for the second chapter in his wrestling life. All that's left for Michaels is to see if all his hard work will pay off. Credible, not being one of the most likeable guys, doesn't have the crowd behind him, but Shawn's Kliq will no doubt be in attendance at Raw Is War. The purpose of Shawn doing this UP ALL Night thing is that it gives him the opportunity to get his mind off the future. He's no doubt ready for the match, but if he thinks about it too much, he'll waste the energy he builds from the anticipation and excitement for the match. Make no doubt about it, though, he's ready. Shawn is suddenly grabbed by the arm by a USA technician. Shawn gives him a look that if looks could kill, would knock the guy dead. He backs away in fear, apologizes and says...

.:.:[ USA Technician ]:.:. Shawn, it's just about show time... They're ready for you!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Shawn heads back to the set, where many people are trying to rush him along, telling him that he has to get on the set and fast, because they're going live in a matter of seconds. Shawn breaks out in a jog and makes it to the set in time. The director tells him to remove his pants, when they go on the air. He gets caught on air in the middle of taking down his pants. Being a guy who works on live television a lot, he knows exactly what to do, play it off...

Too much of a good thing is good. - Rhonda Shear

Shawn Michaels in USA's...



.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. What's up America? As you can see, The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels is gonna be hosting the show tonight. Aw, you wanted Rhonda? [ Shawn laughs, taking down his pants, and diving into the bed. The camera gets a shot of him from above. ] Well, the reason she's not here is... I already HAD her! Surprised? Not even the Late Night Queen Rhonda Shear can resist The Heartbreak Kid, who, might I add, can stay UP all night! Now, enough of that, let me break this whole Up All Night thing down to you like only HBK can. It's the the middle of the week. It's late. And you're wide awake. What better time to watch a movie? You flip on your TV, thirsting for some quality entertainment. But what do you find? A vast wasteland of color bars and test patterns. "Why?" you wail in despair and disappointment. "Why oh why has my television forsaken me?" Never fear, HBK is here! Well, HBK and a quality movie to quench your thirst for entertainment. What's on for tonight? Damn, what is on tonight. [ T.V. Guide is hurled towards Shawn. He catches it, and flips it open. ] Ah, yes, of course... BIKINI GODDESS! Boy, I can't wait! I mean, this is my kind of movie. Actually, any movie with the words 'Bikini'... 'Thong'.... 'Sex'... Well, you get the point. That's why Pamela Anderson is my kinda chick! And if you're anything like HBK, you'd be thrilled to know that she's stoppin' by a little later on. Oh yeah... When she comes, all you guys who just don't HAVE IT like the Heartbreak Kid, can see me in action, and take notes, 'cause I'm gonna get her. Oh yeah, you can bet your ass on that! Well, enjoy this four star, top of the line movie, and I'll see what I can do to get this movie uncensored. [ Shawn winks at the camera, as it fades to the movie. ]

SeGMeNT #2
12:23 A.M.

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. We come back to Shawn after twenty minutes of the movie. He's about to send the movie to break, but has something to say first...

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. I just found out why I was chosen to host the USA's Up All Night for the second time. It's because of the HBK fan base. That's right, The Kliq is growing, and growin', and I couldn't be more appreciative. They say I bring big ratings. I love the support you guys are giving me. I mean, really, those ratings really mean something. They mean that Shawn can still entertain better than the best of 'em. It also means the fans still love The Heartbreak Kid. Let me level with you people watchin'. A lot of people ask me, "What is it feels like to be HBK?" I never get tired of the question. Let me tell you what it's like to be Shawn Michaels. Basically, I have a feeling for myself that I don't think anyone else has about themselves or their lives. You see, I don't have a regret. I feel like my life's been good. Damn good. When you don't regret, you don't envy, and I'm not a liar when I tell ya' I've never been jealous of anyone for anything a day in my life. It's a good feelin'. Now hey, perfect? I'm not, but I'm the closest thing to it on the face of this planet! I have always done things my way, and because of that, my life is very good. But taking this look on life doesn't come without its problems. Maybe over the years I've been a little too brash, and maybe that's upset some people. People like Bret Hart... I'm not even going there. Anyway, because I've done what I wanted to do, when I wanted to do it, I've been hit with criticism from everywhere. "He's too wild", my critics say, or "He's rude!". Wild? Rude? Yeah, I fit the bill sometimes, but that's the Heartbreak Kid! But hey, the benefits outweigh the costs when you're HBK, as you can see... It's like the feeling I get when I hit "Sweet Chin Music" on The Taker, or The Rock, or anyone really. I barely even hear the fans screaming and cheering when it happens. I fall into a zone, where, at the moment I pick that foot up, everything slows down. It's all in slow motion. [ Shawn stops, then looks to the ceiling, as if picturing himself landing the Superkick. ] I feel the adrenaline surging through every vein in my body. I feel the impact of him foot on his chin through my entire body. I can't wait until I feel it again. Now let's cut to commercial. Hopefully, Pam or Rhonda will be here when we return... Hopefully both...

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Shawn smiles, and as the camera fades to commercial.

SeGMeNT #3
12:29 A.M.

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. About twenty minutes of the movie pass, and five minutes of commercials. We finally come back to Shawn Michaels, who's looking at the clock, waiting at the edge of the bed.

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. I don't know how long I can wait. I mean damn, Rhonda or Pam have gotta show up! How can you stand up The Heartbreak Kid?! The Heartbreak Kid! Look, I'm not gonna crack... No, no way. I'm Shawn Michaels. I DON'T crack! So, while I wait, I'm just gonna talk about my upcoming match in the Pro Wrestling Alliance. Yes, PWA, just started, and I, The Heartbreak, will take on Justin Credible in the first round of probably the biggest tournament I've ever been in! On another note, though, [ Shawn laughs. ] I told you. I told everyone who you that I would put that gorilla, Scott Steiner away, and what the hell did I do? I put him AWAY! [ Shawn shakes his head. ] Nope, you're not hearing me... HIT THE FOOTAGE!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. The screen shifts to the footage from Shawn's match recent match with Scott Steiner.. Well, actually, it's footage of Shawn giving an injured Bret Hart the Superkick, knocking him into a wheel chair. Shawn takes a step back and laughs. 

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. That's not the footage, but hey, that definitely brings back some memories! Bret Hart, Bret Hart. [ Shawn shakes his head. ] I'm not even going there, but let me tell you where I am going! I'm goin' all the way to the finals in this World Title Tournament! How many matches will I have? Ah, Does it matter? Nah, 'cause no matter how long it takes, it's gonna all be worth it. There's no man in this federation who deserves that title more than I do. NOT ONE! Now I am aware of the talent that's in this tournament. Look at this face... Is worry written on it? No way, Jose! I can tell you what's on the other guys in this tournament faces. Fear. Fear of The Heartbreak Kid. Not fear in the form of physical harm. I don't run down people with cars or injury them with sledge hammers, because honestly, I don't care enough about them to waste the energy it would take to do that to them. People, they fear HBK, because they know I am the man to beat in this tournament. It's nothing new to me, though. Because I am who I am, there's a target on my chest everywhere I go, be it the good attention. The good attention is when I'm swarmed by a bunch of chicks who just can't get enough of The Heartbreak Kid. The bad attention is when sadistic people like Triple H plot to take you out with sledge hammers, because they can't handle you in the ring. I get it all the time. I wouldn't be surprised if my next opponent tried something like that. Yeah, that's right, my next opponent. To my surprise it's Justin Credible... He and X-Pac run together with a hairy ass dude by the name of Fat- Prince Albert. Let me be perfectly honest here... This win is going to be easier than the win over Steiner! Now sure, I'll bend the rules a little if necessary. I wouldn't be The HB Kid if I didn't. Rest assured however, no matter how you fight, or how much you put into it, HBK is putting his all into it, and there's no man who can beat me when I'm at my best, giving every bit of myself out there. Not ONE man. It's the luck of the draw, I guess. Some of us are born winners, [ Shawn points to himself and nods his head with a smile. ] and some of us are born losers, [ He points into the camera as if pointing at Credible to his face, shakes his head from left to right, with a frown. ]. One thing I've noticed about this, however, is that there's only ONE ultimate winner, and that's me. People like Credible, Austin, and others are a dime a dozen. People like me come along once in a lifetime, and that's nothing but the facts, JACK! Now, it's time to strap on the laces, and get ready for Shawn. And it doesn't matter how long it takes to put you away Credible, cause I can stay up, all night! 

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Shawn pauses.

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Alright, back to the movie. I'll wait a little, and I mean a LITTLE longer for one of these girls to show up! After at LITTLE bit of time, I'm outta here!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Shawn folds his arms around his chest, and shakes his head as the scene fades to the movie.

SeGMeNT #4
12:54 A.M.

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. About twenty minutes of the movie pass, Shawn Michaels remains in the bed room alone. He's up and pacing back and forth in the bedroom, looking at his watch, with his other hand behind his back.

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. I'm being patient. I really am, but I had better get one of those chicks in here RIGHT NOW, or HBK is walking. Well, at least by the end of these commercials coming up. End of story! Now, to kill a little time, hey, I'm gonna speak on my upcoming match... AGAIN! [ Shawn smiles. ] One thing I noticed is that Albert has one hell of a Choke Bomb that could be a killer on the back. And knowing what kind of guys The X-Factor is made of, I have a good idea that he's gonna stick his hairy nose in this match. Yeah, you're thinking, "AND?", but there's a little more to it than that. And let's back track. Why was HBK sidelined? A back injury. This Choke Bomb could be a problem- So you'd THINK! But take a look at me. [ Shawn pauses. ] Take a look at a man who just won't stay down. I've taken on... Phew! I've taken on some of the biggest men in the history of the business! Now, a lot of people have gone against them. But less my size, and even less that have actually beat one of them, and only one that has beat practically all of them at one point or another. That man is The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels! Who the hell else?! I've been powerbombed, chokeslammed, and any other devastating move you can name by these behemoths, but still, I stand. Actually, the reason I went out before my time is I took just a tad too many. I'm back now though, and I'm in better shape than I have ever been in. I went back to the roots. I went back to the mentor, Jose Lothario. Forget Stu Hart, Jose it the MAN! After training, and strengthening the back, I'm back, and probably better than ever. Steiner, shouldn't, no he can't make the mistake of thinking I'm coming into this match as a washed up legend. I'm coming into this match as a healthy Shawn Michaels. That's scarier than ten of those big guys, and I promise ya'! 'Cause while there's a way to beat them. A simple one, I might add, at Steiner's size and skill level, there's no way to beat me! Hey, cameraman, tell Credible to catch me in a few years after I'm retired, as a bigger superstar than even before. Then, maybe, MAYBE, he'll be able to handle me. Right now, in with the mind set I have, and the way I'm feeling, there's NO WAY! 

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. The scene fades to commercial.

SeGMeNT #5
1:19 A.M.

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. We come back from the movie to find Shawn putting on a black silk shirt, placing a black cowboy hat on his head, and lacing up his boots. He looks up to the camera...

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. That's it! I'm outta here! I came here for Rhonda or Pamela... Preferably both! And I was told they would be here. That was apart of the deal for ole' HBK to host the show. But look around! [ Shawn looks around. ] NO PAM! NO RHONDA! So, you can kiss The Heartbreak Kid goodbye, cause I'm-

.:.:[ Woman's Voice ]:.:. Oh get a grip, Kid!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Shawn looks up to find Pamela Anderson standing in the doorway of the bedroom. With a smile, and takes off his shirt, and tosses his hat across the room. Pamela, wearing white lingerie with sunglasses on, shakes her head and says...

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. What are you doing Shawn?

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Hey! I've been waiting for... ONE HOUR!

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. And?

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Well, babe, since you're late, we're gonna skip the romance and get right to the-

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. What do you take me for? Some easy supermodel, who'll give it up to anybody?

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. [ Shawn laughs. ] If the shoe fits!

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. Well, look who's talking! BOY TOY!

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. I'm not a BOY TOY! I'm just a SEXY BOY!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Pamela walks seductively over to the bed, spins around, and dives into it back first. Shawn stands over the bed, then begins to lean over her. She stops him with her hand, and pushes him off. He stumbles back.

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Okay, I get what this is... This is about WrestleMania, when I pissed you off... Look Pam, you left me for Nash. I'd say we're even now, so let's start off on the right track here.

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. Shawn... You're a jerk!

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. That's not true! I pissed you off before I was the best damn wrestler in the history of wrestling. And I pissed you off BEFORE I truly became known as the sexiest man alive. When you accomplish those two things in particular... You change a great deal, babe.

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. I could only imagine... Where's Rhonda?

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Like I know... 

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. That's what I'm talking about!

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. What?! I don't know... Typical woman... Let's get back to the movie...

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Pamela shakes her head, and rolls her eyes, while Shawn tries to kick his shoe off.

SeGMeNT #6
1:25 A.M.

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. The lights are dimmed, and all we see is Pamela and Shawn lying in bed together, watching the movie on television, with popcorn in between them...

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Ah, wow... YOU WERE TERRIFIC!

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. Don't let him fool you... Nothing happened.

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Pam, I have an image to keep up here. You could have gone along with it. After all, you know, lying in bed with The Heartbreak Kid, with nothing but space and opportunity between us, it's gonna happen sooner or later. It's the inevitable. Okay, you seem like you're not understanding me, here, so let me give you an example. Pam, you KNOW how good of a wrestler- No, you know how GREAT of a wrestler I am, right? [ She gives a "whatever" look. ] Alright, well, I have a match with Justin Credible. This bald, ugly- Anyway, This will be my first match under the spotlight of live television for the first time in years. [ Pam just rests her head on her hand, and listens... ] This guy actually thinks he can take The Heartbreak Kid! The Pro Wrestling Alliance need some main eventers to head up the promotion. I'm definitely a main event caliber wrestler. I ask them, here and now, do you want Credible to be among wrestlers in MY league? Justin Credible would depreciate, not only the World Title division, but hell, the entire promotion. Heís just not good enough. Thereís no other way to explain it, and you cannot deny it. Heís just not ready. Who is he fooling? Heís stepping into the ring with The Heartbreak Kid Shawn Michaels. I'm the top wrestler in wrestling today, and believe me, that's world renowned. Credible doesn't have a prayer in this match. He's cooked before we've turned on the grill. Height? We're about the same size. I'm probably stronger. Couldn't say that about Steiner, but in this case, I have Credible beat! Quicker? Shawn Michaels has him beat by a mile! I'll strike and move, stick and move. If he can't touch me, he can't hurt me, so I'll tire his ass out, dodging, bobbing, and weaving. I'll fly from the top rope, then when I get him on the ground, rip into him with choke holds, leg locks, or whatever does the trick. Credible doesn't have a damn thing on the Heartbreak Kid. That's why he has to lean on his buddies to make up for that flaw in his game! His problem, right? Not mine. Now we go to the amount of moves. Come on. Iím The Showstoppa! I can wrap this up in just three words... "Sweet Chin Music"! From there list only grows and expands in diversity. From dropkicks, to Missile Dropkicks, from Figure Four Leglocks to Hurracanranas, I have it all. I'm like the Captain America of wrestling. I'm trained for anything thing and everything. What does Justin Credible have? The X Marks- Some wannabe "Sweet Chin Music", THAT'S WHAT IT IS! Get real. Do you honestly believe that this move can stop me? If so, commit yourself, because youíre out of your freakin' mind!

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. Oooo! I better commit myself! [ Pamela takes off her sunglasses, and crosses her eyes, as if she were an idiot. ]

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. That's not funny...

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. More after these messages...

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Pamela punches Shawn in the side, and he acts like he's dying. She laughs while the scene fades to commercial.

SeGMeNT #7
1:49 A.M.

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. We return to the bedroom, with Shawn lying down between Rhonda and Pamela, with his arms around them both. Rhonda finally makes her appearance on her show, under the covers with The Heartbreak Kid, wearing black lingerie.

.:.:[ Rhonda Shear ]:.:. Ah, welcome to USA's UP All Night!

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. We're waaay past the welcome, Rhonda.

.:.:[ Rhonda Shear ]:.:. But I bet you NEVER said that did you?

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. No I... Can't say that I did.

.:.:[ Rhonda Shear ]:.:. That's what I thought, Kid!

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Kid? That's not what you were screamin' last night!

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. Oooo... [ Pamela instigating. ]

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. What are you 'oooing' for? You were there too! 

 .:.:[ Rhonda Shear ]:.:. HA!

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. From the left side of Shawn leaps Pamela toward Rhonda. They roll off the bed, fighting, with Shawn over-joyed with excitement.

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. CAT FIGHT! You know, this is why I love USA... I mean, I can come sooo close to closing that line, and we know what line I'm talking about. I figure, as long as I don't strip naked, I can do whatever the hell I want on this channel. It's America's channel, and I'm and I'm American Made! I'm the type of guy who just loves to kick ass. No, no, no, seriously. It's fun. Now, I don't take pleasure in it as much as let's say a Triple H or a Scott Steiner, because let's be real, I'd rather take the victory! [ The girls roll over Shawn, and fall off the bed to the left. ] ... Now that's quality entertainment! Anyway, Thursday Night, I'm gonna knock Credible's teeth DOWN HIS THROAT! Then pin his ass for the victory! Oh, and believe me, when I say I'm going to do something, I DO IT! So, you can take my word to the bank, Credible! Ole' HBK speaks truth when he tells you he's gonna beat you. After all, will a Showstoppa lie to ya'? Will The Main Event tell you a fib? Can't you take the word of a Headliner? Of course you can! Credible, do you really think you can hold a candle to my greatness? Well, do ya', PUNK?! If so, man, you're dumber than Albert looks. [ As Shawn talks, the entire backroung grows dark, and all that can be seen is Shawn because a light is shinning on him. ] I'm the real deal, like Holyfield. Credible, while you got an easy one against Taz, but don't think for a minute that you're getting the same when you step to the plate against the HB Kid! I've seen guys like you come and go, Credible. I've beaten plenty of your kind in the process, but you know what, I never let myself slip to the point where I'd actually let a loser like you beat me. WHOA! If I let that happen, do you think I'd be where I am today?! Get real! And I haven't been in the ring for about four years prior to the beating I gave Steiner, and I still won't let that happen. Oh, and I'm sure your eyes were glued to the t.v. tonight when Shawn Michaels electrified the crowd like the good ole' days. But what impressed you most had to the be the fact that ole' HBK, despite the injury, hasn't lost a step! Notta ONE! Michael Jordan and I have a lot of similarities. He won three World Championships, then stepped away from the game. I won three World Championships, then stepped away from the game. When he won those first three, he was young and was still trying to reach full potential, despite the fact he was already the best damn player in the history of the game. HBK was still working to reach the pinnacle of his abilities, and he was already the best damn wrestler in the history of wrestling. Michael Jordan made his comeback. He was bigger, stronger, and most importantly, smarter... He won three more World Championships. It's time I live up to my side of the bargain as the top guy in my respective sport. It's time I start racking up the World Championships, as the bigger, stronger, and most importantly, smarter HBK. Jordan came back better than he left. Credible, you're dealing with the best damn Heartbreak Kid EVER! Do you really, and I mean really think you have a chance? That would be just incredible if you do, man. Credible, you have nothing on me. Well, maybe you have me in numbers... No, I take that back. One Heartbreak Kid is as good as, oh, I'd say about... [ Shawn begins to use his fingers to count. He looks to the ceiling, as if trying to do the calculations in his head. ] About seven average men. Maybe a little more. Bottomline is, if your friends want to jump in and save your sorry ass, I invite them to join the party. I'm sure the band wouldn't mind playin' couple of rounds on the X-Factor's behalf. Hey, I've always been the coolest cat this side of the Pacific. There's no doubt that every thing I do, I do the asboluuute BEST! And as for the incredible thing... 

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Shawn takes off his sports coat, and the women are screaming already. then takes off his red shirt, and begins posing in the ring shirtless. The women go wild for this display. Shawn brings the microphone back to his mouth and continues...

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Need The Kid say more? Oh, of course. This Kid is not coming to play, I'm coming to win. Nothing is fun when you lose, and we ALL know that HBK loves to have fun. Credible, Monday Night, I'm gonna dance all over your face! And after that, I'm gonna let YOU dance a little... That is, to some "Sweet Chin Music", to seal the deal, giving The Heartbreak Kid yet another victory. Oh, and I won't be done there. After that, Credible, I'm gonna check you into the Heartbreak Hotel! It's as simply as that... For me, of course! 



... And go to commercial...

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. The lights are restored as Shawn moves to break up the cat-fight as the scene fades to commercial with Shawn's music playing.

SeGMeNT #8
2:15 A.M.

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. We return to the bedroom, and this time, the girls are getting along just fine, sharing popcorn, and gossiping. Between them lays Shawn Michaels... ASLEEP!

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. Well, it looks like somebody couldn't stay Up All Night.

.:.:[ Rhonda Shear ]:.:. Uh, before you make that an official statement...

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Rhonda lifts up the cover. She and Pamela look underneath. They lower the sheets, both surprised...

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. I stand corrected...

.:.:[ Rhonda Shear ]:.:. Well, that's if for the movie. I guess it's all OVER! Tune in next week for USA's UP All Night. I'm Rhonda Shear, she's Pam Anderson, and this guy sleeping here is one HUNK of MAN! Goodnight! Oh and always remember, too much of a good thing is good.

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Shawn begins to wake up. Pamela and Rhonda look at him with a smile. The credits begin to run while they do this...

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. What?

.:.:[ Rhonda Shear ]:.:. Are you ready, soldier?

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Ready for what?

.:.:[ Pamela Anderson ]:.:. The group activity, Shawn. 

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Start with out me...

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Rhonda and Pam laugh, and each hit the sleeping Shawn with pillows. He wakes up, and then tackles the girls. They scream, laughing while they do it, then roll off the bed. Shawn gets on his knees in the bed, takes a pillow, then hits the girls with it. They scream, putting their hands up so they don't get hit. Shawn begins to concentrate on Rhonda. Pamela dives on him from behind, then pins him to the bed... Rhonda laughs and says...

.:.:[ Rhonda Shear ]:.:. Look at The Heartbreak Kid now! I thought you didn't lay down for anybody, Shawn...

.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Rhonda... I have one of the most beautiful and sexy women pinning me to a bed, and another one of the most beautiful and sexy women standing over me. Let me remind you that both are in silk lingerie, and we're ALL in a bedroom... I think I'm going to go ahead... God bare with me... AND MAKE AN EXCEPTION! 

.:.:[ Scene ]:.:. Pam and Rhonda laugh, as the scene fades to commercial...


.:.:[ Shawn Michaels ]:.:. Okay look... The Shawn Michaels you saw tonight, is not the REAL Shawn Michaels. C'mon! Most of it was scripted! If I REALLY wanted to, I could get both those girls ANYTIME I wanted to... Forget it, Credible, get ready to rumble, baby, 'cause I'm bring the heat and the band!