- Disclaimer - Following is a roleplay written by the guy they call Kyle, and the same goes for the layout. If you should choose to read the following roleplay, beware that you may find extreme language, adult situations, crude humor, or anything you would find in your regular 'R' Rated Film. If you feel you can handle such themes, then please, by my guest and enjoy the roleplay, which is not associated with any wrestling organization. This roleplay is only made for fun and entertainment purposes.


 


- Roleplay Title -

- Achievements -

- Record -

- People Mentioned -

Guess who SUCKS! The Big Val-Reekzaoid, Val Venis!

1st NEW Tag Team Champion;
Roleplayer of the Week (x2);
Top Ten: #1 Ranking

1-0-0

Val Venis; Randy Orton;
The Million Dollar Corporation

- Next Match -

Edge + Lance Storm vs. Randy Orton + Val Venis


 

 




Totally Bringing The Era of Awesomeness to
New Era Wrestling!

.:.:[ And welcome back to Calgary, Alberta, Canada! Our scene opens in the very spot we last saw the NEW's most awesome reeking duo, at Lance Storm's favorite training place, "The Gym". Our camera has a shot of the gym from the outside, as entrance doors swing open, and out steps Dawn Marie, freaking out about something not yet known.  ]:.:.

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. Oh my GOD! I can't believe they left me!

.:.:[ As Dawn throws her tantrum, out steps the awesome duo of Edge and Christian, both wearing their trademark sunglasses over their eyes and on their foreheads, in casual clothing. As Dawn pouts, Christian plots.  ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Edge-ster, Dawn Marie is a total scorchcake to the third degree!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Sh-Yeah, that's totally a FACT, my illustrious brother. So, uh... [ Edge shrugs his shoulders and nods in Dawn's direction. ] Eh?

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. [ Christian gives a sinister grin. ] Totally, Edge. I soo think it's time 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' take a back seat to the smooth, suave, and totally almighty, 'Mack Daddy of Awesomeness'!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Christian, NO WAY! 'The Mack Daddy of Awesomeness'? 

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. WAY, Edge! 'The Mack Daddy of Awesomeness'!

.:.:[ Edge and Christian execute an incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five, then pump their fists in celebration! ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Edge, it's like totally time for 'The Mack Daddy of Awesomeness' to go to work!

.:.:[ Christian slides his oversized sunglasses, or, for you people who have grown used to the Official E&C Lingo, Christian slides his Big Goofy Ass Sunglasses over his eyes, and puts a little gimp in his step as he tries to smoothly walk over to Dawn. ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. [ Edge gives Christian a thumbs up. ] Go get her, Little Bro!

.:.:[ As soon as Christian walks up to Dawn, she quickly raises her purse in the air, in the middle of a tantrum. In doing so, her purse connects with Christian's face, knocking him completely off his feet, and to the ground. Edge puts his hands on his head, not believing what's just happened. ]:.:.

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. Moron! Why don't you watch where you're going? I can't believe Justin and Lance left me with you two losers. Those assholes!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. [ Christian looks up at Dawn holding his nose. ] Lady, that like totally REEKED of rudocity! [ Christian gets to his feet. ] I mean, not only did you totally catch me off guard, and hit me with that purse of yours, but you soo did NOT even apologize! [ Dawn rolls her eyes and sighs. ] As a matter of fact, if my memory serves me correct, and yeah, it's totally does, not only did you call me a moron, you called me and my awesome reeking brother LOSERS. Lady, losers we are NOT!

.:.:[ Edge arrives on the scene, still surprised by what happened. ]:.:.

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. No, Christian, that's exactly what you are! Aren't you the two jerks who had the nerve to call me 'The Ditz Queen'?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Whoa, Dawn, you actually remember that?

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. [ Laughing. ] I totally do, Edge! And now that I think about it, it was soo totally hilarious!

.:.:[ Dawn winds back, and swings, connecting with SMACK across Christian's face. ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. [ Holding his face. ] Owww! Dammit! Dawn, I soo do NOT hit chicks, but lady, you're totally pushing it!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Dawn, give us a break. I mean, it could totally be worse.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Sh-Yeah, just ask Torrie. [ Trying to laugh, hiding the pain. ] We totally called her a stank ass HOE!

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. [ Rolls her eyes. ] Well, Christian, she deserved it! I did NOT deserve to be called a Ditz Queen. I'm actually pretty smart!

.:.:[ Edge and Christian pause, then let out in a huge burst of laughter. ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Dawn, c'mon! Since when are YOU smart?

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Totally, Dawn, I mean, you're soo totally eye candy for Lance and Credible, and you totally play the role to perfection!

.:.:[ Dawn winds back, and swings, but Christian catches her hand. ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Ha! Once, twice, but soo NOT three times, Da-

.:.:[ SMACK! Dawn connects with her other hand. Christian holds that side of the face now, and turns his back to Dawn, trying not to give into his urge to lay her out. ]:.:.

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. God, what a nightmare! Stuck with you two, of all people...

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Dawn, between the three of us, there's only ONE nightmare, and that's SOO totally YOU! [ Dawn looks shocked. ] And Dawn, you being left here with they who reek of awesomeness to magnitutions totally unchartable, the most fightingest tag team champions in the history of the wrestling business, the kick ass tag team of Edge and Christian, is like soo the best thing that's EVER happened to you in your superficial little life!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Totally!

.:.:[ Dawn looks quite shocked by Edge's out right honesty. This feeling is, however, short lived, as she presses against Edge, actually seeming turned on by Edge, as she says in seductive fashion... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. Well, Edge, you talk a big game, but will you be able to back it up on Sunday. [ Smiling. ] I know Lance will!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. [ Smiles. ] Totally, Dawn. It seems like you've totally forgotten just who I am. Dawn, I'm totally one half of the first and greatest tag team champions the NEW has EVER seen! More importantly, I am he who reeks of awesomeness at a totally unparallel quantity, Edge 'The Awesome'! Dawn, you can totally fear NOT! I will soo hold up my end of the bargain, so to speak, in this match on Sunday, by totally curb stomping both those Million Dollar Chumps, 'The Porn Star Reekazoid and 'Triple R' Orton into next MONTH! Then, when next month comes, totally curb stomping them to the previous month! Dawn, we're talkin' serious curb stomping here thanks to [ Makes like RVD and points to himself. ] 'The Innovator of Awesomeness'!

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. [ Backs up, and whirls around. ] Great, Edge! Just great! So where are we going, huh?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. I totally have no clue, Dawn. Christian?

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Edge! [ Christian looks at Edge as if he's lost his mind. ] Dude, is there any doubt in your mind? Chuck E. Cheese! Where else?!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Totally, Christian! Chuck E. Cheese totally RULES!

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. No way! You got to be kidding me!

.:.:[ Edge and Christian execute an incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five, then pump their fists in celebration, while Dawn Marie walks over to the official car of awesomeness. The scene fades. ]:.:.

(- TIME PASSES -)

.:.:[ The scene reopens in Chucky E. Cheese, with the trio seated in a booth, while sounds of games and kids playing can be heard in the background. A large pizza is placed in the middle of the table by a waiter. He walks away as Christian, Edge, and Dawn all look at one another, as if the pizza is poisonous or something. Christian takes the first slice, looks at both Dawn and Edge, then takes a bite out of the pizza. He then spits it out, and drops it on the table. ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. This pizza totally SUCKS! I mean, dude, the crust isn't even CRUST, it's cardboard!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Dude, that totally reeks! What a total waste of money!

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. [ Rolls her eyes. ] What I would like to know is why are we here in Chuck E. Cheese, worrying about PIZZA, when you [ Points to Edge. ] should be worried about Val Venis and Randy Orton. You know, there's definitely truth to what everybody says. [ Dawn smirks. ] I AM the best manager in the world, because without me, you two probably wouldn't even show up to the arena!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Wait a minute, who said YOU were the best manager in the world? I can soo name five managers that totally put you you a state of shame-ocity!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Whoa, whoa, whoa, Dawn. Why should I worry about the Million Dollar Chumps? They like, totally SUCK! Were they not the SAME dudes who totally got annihilated on ShowTime last Sunday by ONE man? Lady, I reek of awesomeness! And you soo know what that means!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. There's soo NOT one man who can single-handedly annihilate he who reeks of awesomeness, my brother, The Edge-ster!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. [ Edge smiles and gives two thumbs up. ] Besides, Dawn, Orton has like totally decided to lose the match for both he and that reeking chump stain The Big Val-Reekazoid, by totally ignoring me. I mean, Dawn, I've totally been over this before. How can you NOT worry about Edge 'The Awesome'. Would you ignore a comet that is soo totally on the gigantic scale hurling towards Earth that totally holds the power to bring the end of mankind as we know it?!

  .:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. What?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. You would soo NOT ignore it! Well, ignoring his awesomeness is like totally the same. It's just something you soo do NOT do, for the consequences in doing so would be totally B-R-utal which is EXACTLY what 'The Rookie Reekazoid' Randy Orton has coming to him on ShowTime, high octane B-R-utality! He can totally consume himself with the man who totally owns him, Lance Storm, all he wants. He can even go BACK to wrestling school after getting out just a few weeks ago, to totally brush up on his sucktacular wrestling skill. But all of that soo does NOT matter if he doesn't get his priorities straight. And as far as his awesomeness is concerned, the biggest priority in the whole match is the very man who he's like totally ignoring! Result? Randy Orton totally gets annihilated by yours truly... Edge!

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. Alright then, fine, Orton isn't a problem.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. And that's like totally the SMARTEST thing you've said all day! All hail the almighty Ditz Queen!

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. [ Cuts her eyes at Christian. ] ANYWAY, Edge, what about Val Venis?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. [ Shrugs his shoulders. ] Yeah, what about him? I thought we covered this already, Val Venis, World Title or not, totally SUCKS! But you know what, Dawn, I'm not one to get lost in the PAST. I mean, I'd hate to bring up the PAST to totally convince myself that the future is going to be just as good. 

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Sh-Yeah, like Sir-BORES-A-Lot Val Venis! I mean, how many times is he going to remind us that he and Rob Van Dam totally CHEATED and took our titles?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Sh-Yeah, totally Christian. And then, like the Glory Hog that he is, he takes ALL the credit for his and Rob Van Dam's screwing us out of our titles. [ Edge shakes his head, not believing this. ]

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. [ Dawn laughs. ] So, Val forgot to mention who took those titles away from him and Robbie, huh?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Totally! I mean, it looks like Venis totally has a complex. It seems like whenever something goes wrong, he conveniently forgets about it.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Edge, that's soo NOT the only complex that chunktoid suffers from. It seems like he also has a bad case of the D.O.M.!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Diarrhea Of the MOUTH! 

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. What does that mean?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. It totally looks like SOMEONE needs to pick up a book every now and then. [ Dawn rolls her eyes at Edge. ] Basically, Dawn, this means Venis totally talks a lot, and everything he says is totally full of CRAP! I think The Big Val-Reekazoid needs to open his eyes, and totally step off his high horse, and realize that, for one, my partner, Lance Storm is a totally BIG part of the reason he's no longer a tag team champion. Oh, and here's the second thing he needs to realize. He can flaunt his little tainted victory of the awesome team of Edge and Christian all he wants, but like he says to Storm, you know, [ Mocking Venis' rough porn star voice. ] 'How easily he forgets, that beating Rob Van Dam and I, Mr. Craptastic, in a tag team match, is much different than fighting me alone.' [ The mocking stops here. ] Well, here's The Edge-ster using The Big Val-Reekazoid's little and totally petty logic against him. Just because he and Robbie Van Winkle beat us in a tag team, soo does NOT mean he'll have the same luck against I, Edge 'The Awesome'. As a matter of fact, it soo totally will NOT have the same luck, because come Sunday, when is totally time to put up or shut up, and who'll be putting up? The Innovator of Awesomeness! Oh, and who will soo totally be shutting up? The Million Dollar BITCH, Val Venis!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Totally, Edge!

.:.:[ Edge and Christian execute an incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five, then pump their fists in celebration. The scene fades there... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Ah, now with the totally small stuff out of the way, let's do what we totally came to do, Edge!

.:.:[ Dawn Marie ]:.:. What are you talking about?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. [ Ignoring Dawn. ] Totally, Christian! Let's kick Chuck E. Cheese's ASS!

.:.:[ Edge and Christian execute an incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five, then pump their fists in celebration. The scene fades here... The scene reopens with Chuck E. Cheese with a group of kids near the entrance to the restaurant. Everyone's happy, and enjoying themselves, when out of no where Edge spears the Chuck E. Cheese mascot into the ground, as Christian backs him up, whaling on the downed Chuck E. Cheese. The kids begin to cry, as Dawn watching this scene from a distance, shaking her head in disbelief. After kicking the rats' ass, Edge and Christian execute an incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five, then pump their fists in celebration. The scene fades there... ]:.:.