- Disclaimer - Following is a roleplay written by the guy they call Kyle, and the same goes for the layout. If you should choose to read the following roleplay, beware that you may find extreme language, adult situations, crude humor, or anything you would find in your regular 'R' Rated Film. If you feel you can handle such themes, then please, by my guest and enjoy the roleplay, which is not associated with any wrestling organization. This roleplay is only made for fun and entertainment purposes.


 


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If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Dude Love and Mick Foley are totally... The SAME PERSON!

1st NEW Tag Team Champion; Superstar of the Week

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Dude Love

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Edge vs. Dude Love


 

 




Totally Bringing The Era of Awesomeness to
New Era Wrestling!

.:.:[ The scene opens on a city bus, driving calmly through the city streets. All is normal on the bus, as regular everyday blue collar workers and others sit patiently on the bus, awaiting their stop. Suddenly, the bus comes to a screeching halt. The jolt gathers all the passengers attention to the front of the bus. The bus driver looks surprised and infuriated at the same time, as he looks through the front window of the bus. And what a surprise, before the bus stand 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge, along with his younger brother, Christian, with a large sign that reads 'We're totally Awesome! Stop the bus!'. Edge and Christian execute a perfect and enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' hi-five then pump their fists in celebration as they make their way to the entrance to the bus. The bus driver slides open the doors, and the duo walks up the stairs, and introduce themselves to the bus passengers.  ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Greetings lousy citizens of... What city is this again? [ Christian ponders for a second. ] Sh-Yeah, like it TOTALLY matters! [ Feel the sarcasm. ]

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Christian, all that matters is that this otherwise craptacular bus, has totally entered the 'Era of Awesomeness'!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Sh-Yeah, and you can credit that to my awesome reeking brother and I, who are, if you already didn't know, the most fightingest tag team champions in the history of wrestling, and more importantly, we're totally the very first NEW Tag Team Champions!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Christian, no way, the FIRST?!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Edge, I kid you not, the FIRST! [ Edge and Christian smile and nod approvingly. ] And we're also officially, and of course, TOTALLY, RE-ushering in the Era of Awesomeness across the world

.:.:[ Edge and Christian execute an incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five, then pump their fists in celebration! Edge continues... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Christian, that intro totally rocked!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Totally, Edge!

.:.:[ Edge and Christian execute ANOTHER incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five, then pump their fists in celebration! The bus driver then interjects this display of brotherly love. ]:.:.

.:.:[ The Bus Driver ]:.:. Boys, what's the meaning of all of this? You stand in front of my bus, and nearly get yourself KILLED-

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Uh, we were totally counting on you realizing how awesome we are and in doing so, promptly stopping the bus just in time NOT to run us over. [ Edge and Christian both smile and nod. ]

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. And you totally came through! [ Christian smacks him hard on the back. ] Won't someone help me express my appreciation for the bus driver by singing the timeless classic, 'Hail to the Bus Driver'?!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. [ With a serious expression. ] Christian, it would be an honor.

.:.:[ Edge whips out a kazoo, much to the appreciation of Christian who smiles approvingly. Edge gives one blow to the kazoo to start them off, and then the duo sings... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Edge & Christian ]:.:. Haail to the bus driver, bus driver, bus driver! Haail to the bus driver, bus driver DUDE!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. One more time!

.:.:[ The Bus Driver ]:.:. No, no, no! Stop right now!

.:.:[ Edge & Christian walk to the back of the bus, saying to themselves... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Alright, alright. Geez, you just can't do things for SOME people.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Totally, Edge...

.:.:[ Edge and Christian sit on the very last seat on the bus, and continue talking... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. [ Edge shrugs his shoulders. ] Well, at least the honorable El Commission-aire was totally appreciative of the total curb stomping I gave to that gapped-toothed reekazoid, Dude Love. And dude, get this, I wasn't doing it entirely for the Commission-aire. In a totally thoughtful gesture, I curb stomped that rainbow colored reekazoid to spare the fans and all of our fellow, but totally inferior, wrestlers in the back, of those totally heinous dances he was doing! I wouldn't wish watching that display that reeked of heinocity to extreme magnitutions on my worst enemy! 

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Edge, it wasn't just the dancing. It was the fact that Dude LARD was doing the dances! Edge, Dude Love is, well, lets face it... A total FAT ASS! Watching that bubbler jiggle is something I soo do NOT care to see, no matter what the circumstances! 

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Totally, Christian. But unfortunately, El Commission-aire didn't come through entirely. It seems I won't be ridding myself of Dude Lard and his lame attempts to be accepted anytime soon. This Sunday, on ShowTime, it's Dude Lard versus Edge 'The Awesome', one on one.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Edge, you say that like it's a BAD thing. It's totally a GOOD thing. [ Edge and Christian pause, puzzled by what Christian has just said. ] Anyway, Edge, Dude Lard totally deserves a swift kick in his bulbous ass for his totally lame antics AND those reeking clothes of his. Who better than Edge 'The Awesome' to teach Dude Lard that his actions will soo NOT go unpunished?!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Kanyon?

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Totally NOT! YOU, mon frère, The Innovator of Awesomeness HIMSELF!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Christian, you do raise a totally valid, and might I add, AWESOME point! I mean, Dude Lard deserves an atomic curb stomping not only for his antics which totally reek of lamocity, and might I add, they're also totally pathetic, and not only for those clothes which totally hold a space in the Goodwill Hall of Fame, but also for totally threatening to put his PUPPY in my mouth!

.:.:[ The bus is totally silent at this comment by Edge. Everyone in the bus turns and looks at Edge in shock. Christian shakes his head, and looks pissed, as he cries out... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Edge, now that's totally ridiculous! Have the teachings of the great Dr. Dolittle taught us NOTHING?! Did not those totally kick ass Dr. Dolittle movies teach us that animals totally have feelings too? Perhaps Dude Love-LESS should consider caring a little more for his puppy and consider HIS feelings, because I sincerely doubt that his puppy would like to be put in someone's mouth! The very thought of it has totally put me in a state of steamitude, and I SOO doubt I'll be coming back!

.:.:[ Christian shakes his head, and folds his arms across his chest. Edge smacks his fist into his open hand with a vengeance... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Christian, I totally feel your pain. Unfortunately, it doesn't end there. Number one, [ Christian holds up one finger. ], Dude Lard like totally had the audacity to say that I, Edge 'The Awesome', suck! And get this, he totally said that I'm nothing for him, and that I know, and he knows, that he knows, that he knows, I know it, Christian. Sh-Yeah, as IF! And number two, [ Christian holds up two fingers. ], Dude Love is under the assumption that it's even conceivable that I can actually LOSE awesomeness! Why, that's like as crazy as denying the fact that Shakira is a total scorchcake to the third degree, or that the Commission-aire, with all do respect, is as bald as an eagle!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. The very make up of the entity that is AWESOMENESS is totally TOO vast and extreme for the simple minded to comprehend, Edge. And you can't get much more simple minded than Dude TLB. Dude 'Totally LACKS a Brain' that is!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. I don't know, my illustrious brother. I do believe there is ONE man who totally exceeds the simplicity of Dude Love. That man is the one and only... MICK FOLEY!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Dude, Mick Foley is simple to the MAX!

.:.:[ Edge and Christian execute an incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five, then pump their fists in celebration! Edge continues... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Ah, but I've been totally been thinking, Christian. And yes, it may be a little far fetched, but I totally believe Dude Love and Mick Foley have far more in common than totally being brain dead. Christian, I know this is going to sound crazy, but I totally believe that Mick Foley and Dude Love... Are the SAME PERSON!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Edge, that soo reeks of whoaocity! I totally didn't expect that. Are you sure?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. [ Edge ponders. ] I'm somewhat sure, Christian. But you know there's only one way to find out...

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. By totally enlisting the services of the most awesome detective in all the land... NANCY DREW!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Ah, dude, I wish! I mean, Nancy Drew totally rocks the party that rocks the body, but unfortunately, we'll have to settle with the... HARDY BOYZ!

.:.:[ Christian buries his face in his hands, as Edge pats him on the back, sympathizing for him... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. I'll go along with it, but that soo does NOT mean I like it...

.:.:[ Our scene reopen in front of a house in Cameron, North Carolina. The bus stops, and lets Edge and Christian out, then roars, speeding out of the neighborhood, as Edge and Christian walk down the house's drive way. Once at the door, Edge says... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Well... Here goes nothing...

.:.:[ Edge rings the doorbell, as Christian stands with his hands on his hips, shaking his head, saying... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Edge, Nancy Drew is totally the Hardy Boyz times twelve squared...

.:.:[ As he says this, the door swings open, and out steps both Matt and Jeff Hardy, both looking very angered by Edge & Christian's presence... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. If it isn't the Hardy Boyzzz, emphasis on the 'Z'!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Wait a second, you two aren't still in a state of pisstation over the one- No, five- No, six hundred and twenty-seven times we've totally annihilated you two, are you?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Sh-Yeah, because we're totally over it!

.:.:[ Matt Hardy ]:.:. [ Annoyed. ] What do you want?

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Oh, right. All of this joking at your expense has totally made me lose track of what we're doing here. Jeffrey. Matthew. Seeing as how you two are the SECOND best young detectives, behind the Nancy Drew, who totally reeks of high octane coolocity, we thought you could help us out with a little mystery we have going...

.:.:[ Jeff Hardy ]:.:. Wait, we're not-

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Pipe down, Little Hardy, his Awesomeness is speaking. [ Edge nods approvingly. ]

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. [ Clears his throat. ] Now, as I was saying, before I was so rudely interrupted, it has occurred to my awesome reeking brother and I that Dude Love and Mick Foley totally have a great deal in common. So much in common in fact that-

.:.:[ Matt Hardy ]:.:. Yeah, they're the same person.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. What? Just like that? No detective work?

.:.:[ Matt Hardy ]:.:. What's the matter with you two? This is no secret. Everyone knows that Dude Love, Mankind, and Cactus Jack are all the same person. They're all Mick Foley!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Christian, I feel like I did when we first found out Superman was totally CLARK KENT!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Sh-Yeah, when he told Lois Lane. She was totally as surprised as us!

.:.:[ Matt and Jeff shake their heads, and go back into the house, slamming the door behind them, as Edge and Christian walk back toward the street... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Christian, I am now totally informed. My take on this match has totally changed. I mean, dude, Mick Foley IS Dude Lard, and now that I think about it, it totally makes sense. Corny jokes and lame antics are totally Mick Foley's forte, and this gapped tooth reekazoid Dude Love is totally full of them. But Christian, it doesn't matter. The totally poserific Mick Foley can play year 'round Halloween all he wants, but it doesn't erase the fact that I'm like three- Five- One hundred times better than he is, or the fact that he's like three- Five- One hundred times worse than I, Edge 'The Awesome'! And Christian, that means you can consider me, MTV! And you know what that means!

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Totally, Edge. Most Totally Victorious!

.:.:[ 'The Innovator of Awesomeness' Edge ]:.:. Totally, Christian. Come ShowTime, he who reeks of the utmost awesomeness, will totally annihilate and definitely embarrass he who reeks of heinocity to extreme magnitutions, Dude Lard! 

.:.:[ Edge and Christian execute an incredibly enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five, then pump their fists in celebration! Christian now continues... ]:.:.

.:.:[ 'The Absolute Reeker of Awesomeness' Christian ]:.:. Uh, Edge. How did we get to North Carolina? And dude, how are we getting back?!

.:.:[ Edge shrugs his shoulders as the scene fades with Edge and Christian walking down the street... ]:.:.