- Disclaimer - Following is a roleplay written by the guy they call Kyle, and the same goes for the layout. If you should choose to read the following roleplay, beware that you may find extreme language, adult situations, crude humor, or anything you would find in your regular 'R' Rated Film. If you feel you can handle such themes, then please, by my guest and enjoy the roleplay, which is not associated with any wrestling organization. This roleplay is only made for fun and entertainment purposes.

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E&C Present: Who Wants To Be A Manag-aire!

7 - Time WWF Tag Team Champions


Lance Storm, Raven

- Next Match -

Lance Storm & Raven vs. Edge & Christian

Totally Bringing The Era of Awesomeness to New Era Wrestling!

.:.:[ The scene opens in a large auditorium in Los Angeles, California. The entire, which is made for stage products, is nearly empty with the exception of two guys seated in the middle of the seating area. These two guys, you guessed it, are Edge and Christian. Here we find Edge and Christian in casual clothing, along with Christian wearing his self-proclaimed 'Big Goofy Ass Sunglasses'. Edge is also wearing sunglasses, but he has them perched over his head. The duo is all smiles, as the camera zooms in on them, sitting comfortably, each with popcorn and drinks. Christian starts us off... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. To the sucktacular fans of New Era Wrestling and to our two CRAPtacular opponents on ShowTime, the bird that reeks of epic magnitutions of heinocity and 'Mr. Anti-Social', oh, and who could forget about the amazing 'Dizts Queen'. The team of Edge and Christian, who totally reek of awesomeness to extreme magnitutions, totally presents to you...

.:.:[ And now suddenly over the speakers in the auditorium, a loud voice is heard similar to the one used on cheezy game shows, along with the sounds of a cheering crowd, saying... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Voice over the auditorium speakers ]:.:. WHO WANTS TO BE A MANAG-AIRE!

.:.:[ The sounds of a cheering crowd fade away, as Christian and Edge are all smiles, as Edge says... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Christian, sound effects totally RULE!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Yeah they do!

.:.:[ Edge and Christian execute a perfect enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five! Edge now takes the floor, saying... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. You see, 'You Too Can Be A Manag-aire' is a contest in which the winner gets the awesome honor of managing the most fightingest tag team champions in the history of wrestling, Edge and Christian!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Now, I'm sure you people out there in Dones-ville are totally asking yourselves, 'Gee, I wonder why Edge and Christian, the unbeatable, and totally most awesome tag team on the face of the planet, need a mang-aire?' Well all you dorkmeisters out there, allow me to give you an answer... You see, those two reekazoids, the bird and 'Mr. Anti-Social, have manag-aires.

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Sh-Yeah, and that's totally an advantage in their back pocket! Raven has Tori, who totally reeks of hussification! And Storm has Dawn Marie, the skank ass HOE!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. But don't get the wrong idea, we totally do NOT need a manag-aire to beat these two chumpstains! As far as we're concerned, those two will TOTALLY get curb stomped with or without those stank ass HOES for manag-aires!

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Well said, mon frère. Basically, we're putting on this contest, well, for something to do! I mean, have you ever taken a look around Los Angeles? It's so totally overrated! I thought this place was supposed to be totally oozing with rad things to do. Imagine my surprise when I found out that Los-ER Angeles was total BORES-ville!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. BORES-ville! Sh-yeah, sounds like the perfect place for 'Sir-BORES-A-Lot' Lance Storm! Storm, worm, or whatever, I know you're watching this brilliant broadcast from the most fightingest tag team champions in the history of wrestling.

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. And while you're watching, we totally advise you to pull out the ole' pen and pad, and jot down some notes on how to actually entertain! Dude, hearing you talk, and talk, and TALK is just, well, B-R-utal!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Totally, Edge! Storm, it looks like you're totally on the edge. Uh, no pun intended there. [ Edge nods with a smile. ]  'Mr. Anti-Social', you TOTALLY need a chill pill! Crying and getting all hot and bothered yelling in that robotic monotone voice of yours, [ Christian mocks Storm with a monotone voice. ] 'Edge, you can't beat me!  Christian, you can't beat me!  And the two of you's together... uh... sorry to be so incredibly boring and totally UNnecessarily repetitive... but you can't beat me!',  [ Back to normal voice. ] will so totally get you no where in NEW's bitchin' Era of Awesomeness!

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. You know, 'Sir-BORES-A-Lot', you repeating to yourself that we can't beat you over and over again is totally geared toward yourself, than it is toward us! Ah, Storm, you totally run your mouth like EVERY woman in this world, TOO MUCH! And to you and EVERY one of of those women, allow me to let you in on a little secret... Just because you say more, so totally does NOT make it true!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Too true, Edge. I mean, who in Bangkok does Storm think we are?! I swear, if I didn't know any better, I'd say that Storm thinks we're totally stupid! Well, if that's the case, that boring, poor excuse for a Canadian, who totally reeks of sucktitude and a pain in the ass disease called 'robot-itis', couldn't be more wrong! [ Christian grows angry. Grrr. ] Edge, I'm totally venturing into a state of steamitude! 

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. I totally know how you feel, Christian. You know, I think Storm should make like a Raven, and totally close that big mouth of his! Raven may be a regular Dirty Dingus McGee, have no home, and eat regularly at McDumpsters, but he's totally not stupid! Storm, you're totally suffering from a serious condition I like to call to call the 'DOM'. Diarrhea of the mouth! 

.:.:[ Edge and Christian laugh a step underneath hysterically. After gaining their composure, Christian says... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Kick ass job, Edge! And with that said, let's get this show on the road!

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Sounds good to me, Christian. Just talking about Storm is totally boring the ever loving crap out of me! Alright, and now it's time to kick off what you've all tuned in this awesome program to see...

.:.:[ And now suddenly over the speakers in the auditorium, a loud voice is heard similar to the one used on cheezy game shows, along with the sounds of a cheering crowd, saying... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Voice over the auditorium speakers ]:.:. WHO WANTS TO BE A MANAG-AIRE!

.:.:[ The sounds of a cheering crowd fade away, as Christian and Edge are all smiles, as Christian says... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Edge, kick ass sound effects rock the party that rocks the party!

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Yeah!

.:.:[ And yes, another perfect enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five! Edge now continues... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Alright, we have three contestants. That's right three contestants in this awesome contest! But only one will prevail and receive the Golden Seal of Awesomeness!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. And now, let's hear it for contestant number ONE!

.:.:[ Throughout the auditorium, the sound of cheering and clapping is heard through the speakers as over the speakers the voice blares... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Voice over the auditorium speakers ]:.:. And contestant number one is... TAKA MICHINOKU along with his manager, SHO FUNAKI!

.:.:[ Out steps Taka and Funaki in their usual in ring attire. Funaki is also waving a Japanese flag through the air until they reach the middle of the stage and take the microphone. Amazing and mysteriously, as Taka takes the microphone and begins to speak Japanese, over the speakers of the auditorium, and English voice over is provided. Edge and Christian look on in disbelief as Taka speaks... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Taka Michinoku ]:.:. Good evening, my white American brothers! It is most honor to be before you!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. EDGE! His mouth is totally out of sync with what he's saying!

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Dude, this is straight out of one of those Godzilla movies! Uh, Taka, could you say a line from one of those golden Godzilla flicks?

.:.:[ Taka Michinoku ]:.:. Look! It's GODZILLA!

.:.:[ The duo is totally taken by this, as they gasp in disbelief. It's almost like a dream come true! ]:.:.

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Godzilla movies totally RULE!

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Yeah they do!

.:.:[ And yes, another perfect enthusiastic 'Edge & Christian' High-Five! Taka interrupts the party... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Taka Michinoku ]:.:. Ha, ha, ha! Stupid white American boy band look-a-likes, you think I cater to your every whim? Ha, ha, ha! You are far stupider than you look! When I say it is most honor to be before you, guess what, I LIED! Ha, ha, ha! I spit on you, and this very country!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Dude, what's your damage? Look, if it makes you feel any better, we totally don't like the states either! We're Canadian!

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Yeah, but that's not even a big deal. Where do you get off calling us boy band look-a-likes?

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Sh-Yeah, I totally resent that remark in it's entirety, and you just might be totally looking at a law suit for SLANDERATION! You know what, why don't you two dweebazoids BEAT IT! 

.:.:[ Taka looks behind him at Funaki. Funaki then shrugs his shoulders, and says nothing. Surprise, surprise. Taka then shrugs his shoulders, and sticks his hand in his shorts. Edge and Christian look on confused, until they realize what Taka thought Christian meant when he told them to 'beat it'. ]:.:.

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. NO! Dude, that's B-R-UTAL! When Christian said 'beat it', he didn't mean, 'BEAT IT'! I meant for you two to totally make like a tree and leave!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. That so totally reeks of heinocity. Eww... You should totally be ashamed of yourself. For your own sake and ours, dude, GO GET LAID!

.:.:[ Edge and Christian chunk their popcorn and drinks at Funaki and Taka as they dodge the flying objects as they make their way off stage. Edge and Christian shake their heads in disbelief as they say... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Christian, that was totally wicked. This is so totally NOT going as planned.

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. No kidding, Edge. I think this was totally a big mistake.

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Christian, you wouldn't be referring to a big mistake like our good friend and fellow Canada the incredible 'Mr. Anti-Social' would you?

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. You know what, Edge. That's precisely the type of big mistake I'm talking about! But you know what, there's only ONE reekazoid in our match on Sunday, and there's only ONE person making a TOTALLY big mistake by even planning to show up for the match. Do you know what the reekazoid and the guy making the big mistake have in common? They're totally the SAME person!

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Sir-BORES-A-Lot, 'Mr. Anti-Social', 'The Worm' Lance Storm... You know what, take your pick, it's totally all the same. The thing is, Raven may not even show up for the match, so that'll leave that arrogant, long winded, reekazoid, Lance Storm against the team of Edge & Christian. And he thought his odds were bad when he HAD the bird!

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Too true, Edge. To put it simple enough for the masses watching, who are most definitely totally lacking brains, on ShowTime, Edge and Christian are totally going to kick some major ass, and be one step closer to being immersed in goldage. Tag Team Gold, that is!

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Christian, let's get out of here. Manag-aires totally reek of sucktitude! I mea-

.:.:[ Edge is cut off by the sound of cheering and clapping blaring over the speakers along with the cheezy announcer voice saying... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Voice over the auditorium speakers ]:.:. And contestant number two is... The guy who played Bill S. Preston, Esq. in the hit 80s movie Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure! That's right, give it up for ALEX WINTER!

.:.:[ Out steps Alex Winter from backstage, dressed in attire similar to what he wore when he played Bill on Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure. He steps out with a smile, but when he looks out into the crowd, that's replaced with a look of disappointment. The camera shows us what he sees and that's Edge and Christian are no gone. There's no a trace of them in the entire auditorium audience. Alex is all alone as he says... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Alex Winter ]:.:. Aw! I can't believe this! This is totally BOGUS! I thought there was an audition here! Hello! Where is everybody?!

.:.:[ Suddenly from each side of the stage run Edge and Christian holding steel chairs above their heads. Winter doesn't even notice them, until CLAANNNK!!! CON-CHAIR-TO! Winter's limp body falls hard to the stage floor as Edge and Christian smiles, and give each other a thumbs up. Christian then looks down at Winter and says... ]:.:.

.:.:[ Christian ]:.:. Dude, what's bogus is that movie you made, Bill & Ted's TOTALLY NOT Excellent Adventure! It totally REEKED!

.:.:[ Edge ]:.:. Yeah, it really did...

.:.:[ Edge and Christian walk away from Winter as he lay nearly dead on the stage floor. The scene fades there... ]:.:.